Difficult Scenes

I have a really, really good story, and I hope that I do it justice in telling it. It’s about self-healing and becoming whole – a woman’s journey to authentic awesomeness. It has swashbuckling, “romance,” sex, wit, sweetness, and soul-bearing – everything a good story needs.

I mentioned this before, but I feel kind of like JK Rowling because I mapped out the story and spent much of my time in the coffee shop writing my outlines…and on my phone on the treadmill at the gym.

I wish I had her imagination and could invent worlds and languages, but I watched too much television as a kid which hindered my motivation to be creative.

This incarnation of creative writing started with emails and chats with new friends, probably with more men than women, I’ll admit.

After the marriage ended, I put myself out there and dated and made friends, many of whom I’m still friends with today. I love the social media. I’m tech-nerd with non-tech origins. Anyway, I started telling stories in email and chatting and texting, and it unlocked something in the attic of my brain.

I don’t know why it took me so long to start a blog – that’s a lie – it was fear.

I cannot live with regrets or change the past. The past does not exist.

Moving forward, however, I poured over my notes and outlines to come up with a title. There is a scene in my memory bank that stands out as the most significant – and also will be the most difficult to describe – but it was from that moment that the title emerged: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told.

I shared that title with a friend of mine, who said that it was a rather bold statement.

“What makes this better than ‘Romeo & Juliet’ or ‘Pride & Prejudice’?” she asked.

I said, “Number 1, it really happened and happened to me, and number 2, you’ll just have to read it.”

I never enjoyed reading “romance” novels because they were so incredibly unbelievable:

1. …because I found the “I cannot believe it’s not butter” guy to be hilarious, not sexy, with his long hair and shirt open.

2. …because no man I know would look into my eyes and pour his “heart” out with words like “I’ve loved you forever,” or “I’ve waited so long for this,” or “Kiss me before I die…” I can’t even write good romance lines because I’m so NOT romantic at all.

However, after embarking on this journey of putting fingers to keyboard and pen to paper, I realize how incredibly difficult it is to write a “love” scene and make it believable – make it hot and steamy, because the whole scene was – but not pornographic. It also wasn’t smushy romance either.

Sex scenes are hard – no pun intended. 🙂 Well, yes it is!

So kudos to you love scene writers. I may have made fun of you in the past, but definitely no more.

In my honesty about not being able to write intimate scenes intimately, I can say that this probably hung me up the most and stopped me in my tracks.

I intimidated myself by this task and made excuses as to why I couldn’t write this. Now I just can’t anymore. I miss the story. I miss being out there. I sit here stuck with this awesome story of how I lived my life, and not only have I not been telling it, I stopped living it because I stopped telling it.

That is a profound realization.

A story without authentic yummy sex scenes is just not appealing, just like LIFE without those scenes is not appealing either – How can I continue to heal and become whole without them?

The truth is, I have to tell the story. It is really, really good. And as hard as it can be in those sex scenes – I’ll just have to fumble through.

I would love to hear from YOU ~

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