I am a cat.
That does not mean I am a “cat person,” i.e. a cat lady or a person with
lots of cats.
I am talking about my personality – or behavior – I am a cat.
As a cat, I prefer solitude a lot of the time, although I am quite social –
in a very flirty way and on my terms. I do not require a lot of strokes
and I will withdraw if I’ve had enough. I am also a huntress. Purrrr… 🙂
I saw a dog yesterday that was a “cat.” She would check things out and then
go on her merry way. She played perfectly well by herself and didn’t seek
out attention from anyone else – very cat-like behavior.
Some people are dogs – clearly social and need to have people around
and really cannot function to their fullest capacity unless they are part
of a pair or a group.
There’s no right or wrong here – they are just different.
The relationship that I have most recently exited, I will call it “Relationship Y,”
was the attempted blending together of a dog and a cat.
Obviously it didn’t work out – I have exited Relationship Y.
I am quite a confident cat. A year ago, I was really owning my true SELF,
but that was new to me. I hadn’t discovered it before – not fully –
just scratched the surface. I really thought I was confident a year ago,
in my newly discovered cat-like state, but I my belief in that confidence
was on shaky ground.
Because my ownership of my true SELF was new to me and my confidence
was like a race car that I was learning to drive, I would stall occasionally – the
old self-doubt with self-deprecating voices would pop up, and some fear crept
And then I met a couple of “dogs” (that’s personality as described above, not
physical attractiveness or lack thereof) who were thrown at me by the
Universe to convince me that I was also a dog – that I was wrong
for thinking I was a cat – and my test was to keep believing that I was a cat –
owning it and loving it – except I didn’t understand the test instructions.
That happens to me a lot. I have to ask questions when I’m taking a test.
These dogs were enticed by my confidence – thinking they had found their
alpha dog – the gal who could and would join their packs and lead them,
depend on them and allow dependence upon – because a pack animal
cannot survive without its pack.
I was in a moment of self-doubt when one of those dogs convinced me, which
I allowed, and put a leash on me, which I allowed.
Cats do not like leashes –
Relationship Y: A test of my confidence. Could I exit with my dignity intact?
Could I really love myself as a cat?
Yes and yes.
…and the huntress prowls again… but with clearer intentions, clearer definitions,
strength, and true confidence down to the very core.
Healing is definitely happening…
I am a cat.