Yoda is THE wisest old dude in the history of wise sages. His advice has been my guiding light since The Empire Strikes Back –
What if I sought Yoda’s advice on men and dating…It might look something like this…
Me: Master Yoda, I’m seeking your divine wisdom about relationships and dating. I must say, it looks like your workouts are working out for you.
Yoda: When 900 hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not, hmmmm?
Me: Damn straight!!! Should I try any new exercises so I can look as good as you?
Yoda: Do or do not. There is no try.
Me: True that. So, I have friends who are afraid of ending bad relationships. What advice would you give them?
Yoda: The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
Me: How do you do this, Master Yoda?
Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned. Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.
Me: Ahhh, I see. But I’m looking for someone who fits my unique view of the world. Where do I look?
Yoda: Looking? Found someone you have, eh?
Me: He he! We are just playing. What else do you see there?
Yoda: Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future..
Me: That’s what I see too. I would rather live in the today moment. But how do I know if I have found a good guy who is right for me?
Yoda: You will find only what you bring in. You will know when you are calm, at peace -passive. When you look at the Dark Side, careful you must be, for the dark side looks back. PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE!
Me: Excellent and wise, you are, Master Yoda 🙂 How would the Force help me if I find myself stuck again?
Yoda: In a dark place we find ourselves, and a little more knowledge lights our way. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense.
Me: OK – Let’s switch to something more sensitive 🙂 I’m a “do or do not” kind of gal and I tend to be rather bold, and I like the middle of the bed where I can just spread out. Do you think this is good?
Yoda: Foreplay, cuddling – a Jedi craves not these things.
Me: Yay – I’m a Jedi! Let me ask you this: My friend has had trouble finding a man who is “functional” in the ways of love. What should I tell her?
Yoda: Happens to every guy sometimes this does.
Me: And what about size? There is a rumor that size doesn’t matter – What do you say to that?
Yoda: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm.
Me: No, no judgment, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Early must I rise. Leave now you must! May the Force be with you.
Me: Thank you Master Yoda. – Yoda man! 🙂
Note: Yoda is the property of George Lucas and all that. I borrowed these Yodaisms from a list of Yoda quotes, and it’s intended to be fun. 🙂