The Foundation

I have dust in my lungs from the Grand Canyon trip. It’s okay – totally worth it.

I have been riding a “high” since being back home – It was actually difficult to sleep Sunday night – I was probably over-exhausted…The boys’ voices kept running through my head and would make me giggle…

…but the dirt and dust that my body is getting rid of has allowed me to rest a bit and reflect –

I walked to Starbucks this morning to buy a coffee – I’m completely out, and I need to go to the grocery store.

the fridge

The moon was absolutely stunning – full and bright.

As I was returning home sipping on my Venti Blonde Roast, I noted that right now, in this moment, I am the best version of myself – THE BEST!

How lucky is that??

Therefore, I have the utmost security and confidence that I have made the best decisions for myself in recent months – and the journey I have taken since 2007 has brought me to this point – with all of the lessons I have learned, the hardships I have endured, the people I have met and lost, the places I have seen –

…the point at which I am the very best version of myself…

I have never been here before, not fully, not wholly. I have had enough of a glimpse of it that I would recognize it once I arrived though.

So when I think about the people who are now in my life and the adventures I have taken and the places I have yet to go – I know that I have a “home” that fits me and all my quirkiness and everything I am.

I know that I have established friendships and other “ships” that will always be here and that are right for me.

…and that other “ship” – whatever it is labeled – is super fun.

My world is enhanced by his presence in my life – as it is – in times apart and times together – effortlessly.

…and I hope his life is enhanced by my presence – effortlessly.

…because that’s all I want…and amazing sex (just saying) – He does love his toys – I’m soooooooo lucky!!!

Don’t choose the better man. Choose the man who makes you a better woman.

 

I met up with gal friend yesterday, and she caught me up on her trials and tribulations of what she calls “dating” which to me sound more like job interviews.

I like the way I do things – make a friend and then decide where it’s going to go. I don’t think creating a “ship” should be a job or the right guy should be interviewed, but that’s just how I roll.

I think the foundation of this “ship” should be “like” with a whole lotta chemistry, of course, the kind that makes you tingle all over and in places only yourself knows about until you confess it to him 🙂

All feelings are feelings and purely subjective. I have experienced enough pain in my heart and my body to know that I cannot be hurt or damaged or devastated by a broken heart. That’s very freeing.

That means I can experience “like,” “love,” “lust,” “passion,” “ecstasy,” and whatever awesome feelings exist in the spectrum of warm-fuzzies, all with reckless abandon –

– and let these wash over me, like the waterfalls I just encountered –
– then carry the memories in my heart as I walk away, until we meet again…

…and I smile…

Yeah, he’s still coming, just a little bit late. He got stuck at the laundromat washing his cape.

…because if I live with the fear of being hurt or cling to the warm-fuzzies, I would stay under the falls too long and I would surely drown.

The foundation, however, is “like.” I have hung out with people I didn’t like, and it’s miserable – and I become the worst version of myself – tales from the dark side.

“Like” gives me the freedom to feel love, lust, passion, ecstasy in all their fleeting moments, so I can feel each one in the very moment I am having it – and free myself from worry and fear –

…free myself to BE the very best version of myself at all times, and not be tethered to labels, not worry about reciprocation, not have plans for the future or even envision what might become of this…

…because none of that matters…

I just adore how he looks at me – and calls me “babe.” 🙂

melt, melt, melt, melt, melt – tingle, tingle, tingle

…all is well…

…and I smile…

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes above are from the movie “This Means War” and the song “Waiting for Superman” by Daughtry.

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