The Struggle

The Struggle: AKA Captain Amazing’s Last Stand

The exciting adventures of Captain Amazing continue…

When I last checked in with you here, I had just texted Ms. Spa that I was getting ready to see Captain Amazing.

I finished editing a blog post and scheduled the accompanying email.  I took a cold/sinus tablet, just to make sure everything was functioning properly with regard to the sickness that kept me down last week… Then, shower time!

I love dating – because I have a good reason to care about what I look like, how soft my skin is, how great I smell: –

Don’t get me wrong – I care about all those things all the time – but when I get to share it with someone – ooooooo that’s so nice!! 

I strategically place the very best scents in the very best places – a pleasant surprise for the hunter!

So in my opinion, that falls under the “PRO” side to staying single – no complacency. Always keep your edge – always!

Hmmmm….what to wear? Pink – Pink lace bra and matching panties – perfect! Shows off my tan and my abs 🙂

Black tennis skirt – check. Charcoal tank top – check. Pony tail because hair is not cooperating – check. I passed the “look good” test on myself, and gave myself the “thumbs up.”

“Go rock his world -” 
Thanks! I will! 
High-five myself!

I lugged my things downstairs and to the car. Youngest wanted to have her backpack weighed. I told her about his nifty scale that he used to weigh our backpacks. She wanted to know the truth about her backpack – and finally have an explanation as to why I have to fix her back weekly. I was curious as well.

I started the ignition and felt a – jolt –

“What was that? Definitely a disturbance in the Force…” I thought.

I felt really tingly, and then I started to lose my breath….it was that same uneasy feeling I had with Mr. KC.

“Oh no,” I thought. “Not again.”

I texted Ms. Spa:
“I’m on my way to Captain Amazing – I have butterflies in my stomach – Ugh  #mensuck”

Thankfully, I didn’t see her reply until later – on my way home –

~

I arrived at his house. It didn’t look the same. Something was wrong, very wrong.

I took a few things out of my car – not everything – I decided to make two trips since I had the extra backpack. I wasn’t sure if he had his toy there to weigh it.

I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

No answer.

I stood for a moment, looking around, sort of nonchalantly cute…
…Ho hum…hmm…

I rang the doorbell again.

I thought, “I’ve never had to ring the doorbell…He always expects me…”

The butterflies got worse…something was very wrong…

A man opened the door. He looked familiar – he had a nice smile, kind of a sheepish grin. He had just gotten his hair cut. He politely escorted me into the front room and helped me carry my things.

Everything seemed “normal” but not really.

The man said, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

I replied, “Really? Here I am.”

He pulled out a chair and sat down. He motioned me to do the same, but I remained standing.

The man said, “We need to have a talk that I’m dreading to have with you.”

OHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. 

Icy chills ran up and down my spine.

**breathe**

I touched the man on his shoulder and calmly said, “Say what you need to say – It’s ok.”

And I smiled. He looked up at me with sadness in his eyes.

Being a strong woman is absolutely divine in the moment – but to tell the tale afterwards – it does make me cry a little, not gonna lie.

“Captain Amazing is no more,” he said.

I stood there, shocked.

“I’m so sorry. There was a struggle. He held on long as he could, but he had to let go. I’m so sorry to tell you this. I’m sure you hate me,” he said. He looked even sadder.

I stood there –

I thought to myself – commanding myself
with every bit of strength I had in my being:
Please don’t cry – You’re not wearing waterproof mascara!

I realized I had been standing there…silent…

“Why would I hate you?” I asked.

“It would be a lot easier if you did – If you yelled or threw something at me,” he said.

“Well, I’m not that kind of girl,” I said. “I’m very sorry for your loss. This is not going to be easy for you.”

“No, it’s not,” he said.

Where does great sex go to die?
… An elephant graveyard, where it will always be remembered.

We reminisced about our friend: The man, the myth, the legend – that was Captain Amazing.

I packed up my things. The man walked me to my car. He gave me a kiss and hug – he was a great hugger – and we said goodbye.

I grabbed my phone and saw Ms. Spa’s reply to my earlier text: LMAO!!! #buthesnotaboyfriend.

I texted her back. “…and he’s not. He’s gone. He is no more.”

She replied: “What???????????????”

I said: “Yep – the struggle is real.”

“Do you want to talk?” she asked.

“IDK,” I said. “I’m still in shock.”

I pulled out of the driveway and drove myself home, remembering that it is Mojito Madness at Havana Cafe –

Um, no – probably not in my best interest.

I came home, lugged my things back upstairs.

I put on my favorite Avengers T-shirt and a pair of shorts – and I finally cried.

I better not have cry face tomorrow! 

#thestruggleisreal

 

 

 

The quote above is by me – 🙂

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