Snowstorms

Snowstorms: A Little Note For The Ladies ~ But Men Should Read It Too ❤

The path to enlightenment and enjoying life on Planet Earth is sprinkled with pitfalls, some that lead to the zombie apocalypse – watch your step. #zombieboobietraps

I’ve read soooooo many self-help books to try to figure out what was wrong with ME over the years – and the problem wasn’t with ME fundamentally.

The first part of the problem was how everyone else defined my world, told me what I’m supposed to feel, what my life is supposed to look like –

– and I felt like shit all the time because these definitions were in conflict with how I defined my world, how I felt, and how I saw my life.

And the second issue was that I allowed THAT to have power over me. #keepyourpowergirls

Once I really let that Aha Moment sink in – and I really owned it – amazing things started happening.

…and the ultimate result has been the best version of myself…

Men are like snowstorms: You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long he will last 🙂

The key is maintaining perspective. That is not to say, “Shut down your heart, you might get hurt.”

On the contrary, the extraordinary MIRACLE of healing and being enlightened is to open your heart and let go of fear.

You never know when he’s coming.

Let go of whether he’s coming – He will or he won’t – It’s not your problem.

  1. If he doesn’t “show up,” it is his loss, not yours – YOU are beautiful. He’s there to enhance your life, not to make your life.
  2. If he doesn’t “cum,” again, it is his loss, not yours – Maybe his head (or head) is just not into it or maybe he’s just tired. The more important question is – Did you?

You never know how many inches you’ll get.

It’s true – and you won’t know until you get there or you ask.

I’m not afraid to ask the really important questions, including size. It’s part of the “getting to know you” process and “what are you bringing to the party?”

The last two FAVORITE men in my life were asked these questions, point blank, of course with a great deal of charm and cuteness on my part.

  1. Does he know what to do with it?
  2. Does he bring other skills to the table?
  3. How’s the kissing? You cannot retrain a bad kisser – I’ve tried – FAILURE.

So when Captain Amazing and I were in the planning phase of constructing our social and intimate experiment of awesomeness – I told him, “I need to kiss you. Because if you suck at kissing, the deal is off.”

He does not suck at kissing – thank you!!

In fact, he can kiss me anytime he wants, anywhere he wants, no questions asked.

I hope he does too…just pushes me up against a wall, pins me there, and has his way with me… *pant*… Gawd – I need it bad!

Sorry – I got distracted inside my own daydreaming.

So do the inches matter?

Only partly – because the men who rely solely on their possession of ample inches as the pinnacle of their sexual prowess – aren’t worth your time.

You can get an awesome toy for that and play with it whenever you want.

You never know how long he will last.

Again, you won’t know until you get there – and asking probably will not provide the answer you’re looking for. I am not sure men know for sure…

…and that’s in bed and in life.

Although, I have asked – right in the middle of a make-out session in a park. 🙂

He stopped kissing me so we catch our breath – and I asked, “Can I ask you a rather personal question?”

He said, “Yes, you can.”

“Do you last a long time? Because I really need that,” I said. #nosegue

He laughed and said, “Yes. Yes I do, Goddess.” 

“Oh thank you! You may continue.”

By the way, that man had accurate self-awareness and he wasn’t kidding! 🙂 Good times, good times. #qualitytime

Bed: If there is a pattern of finishing too soon in bed, I’m not sure that can be fixed unless he does the following:

  1. Studies and practices ancient tantric and breathing techniques (which do work incidentally – see above).
  2. Takes a course from Tim Ferriss on the 15-minute female orgasm – Guys, please read his book – The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman

(BTW, Tim – I’m waiting for your next experiment on this subject – I’d like to volunteer my body … for science, of course).

Life: If he doesn’t last long in life, then let the storm that is “the man” pass and enjoy all that comes with it, including the “missing” and a little bit of chest pain. – Euphoria outweighs these other feelings.

The “Eye” of the storm

I seek hurricanes rather than snowstorms – but I’m a bit adventurous and not afraid to be blown away. I clean up nicely.

I used to keep my hair kind of stylishly messy – I called it: the “freshly fucked look,” so no one would know if I was freshly fucked or not – Keep ’em guessing.

Life’s too short for bullshit and pleasantries! That’s why I have no segues or filters.

…and if you can really let yourself “feel” without all the other bullshit and pleasantries – because life is too short for that –

– then you can find yourself sitting across the table from a really hot guy eating sushi, playing footsie under the table, and having cocktails on a Sunday afternoon –

– talking about sex, super heroes, life, kids, work and more sex including fantasies and positions – without hangups or embarrassment or nervousness –

It’s just THAT awesome!

Finally – I can BE with a man. BEING is the key. You ride the hurricane – and hang out in the eye. See what happens.

 

 

 

Quotes above are by me 🙂

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