Fluffers and Warm Fuzzies: Part 1

Fluffers And Warm Fuzzies: My Friends Are My Fluffers.

Part 1

Friday 5 a.m.:

I planned the best weekend: Yay me! 🙂

  1. Friday night with my friends Ms. Spa and Mr. Cool.
  2. Saturday with my daughter.
  3. Sunday – date with myself.

I love to spend some much needed time with myself –

I haven’t been on a date with myself in such a long time – so I asked myself to a movie and lunch on Sunday – with every intention of inviting myself back to my place for an afternoon drink…

…Maybe make a “move” and see how far I can take this little party… I am single after all…

…Perhaps I would be up for a threesome (me, myself, and Majestic Purple) – It certainly doesn’t hurt to ask. #ridethattricycle

…and I might even talk myself into building some shelves and a dresser…

I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?


I also put myself on-call as the “beck and call girl” for a certain super hero this weekend (Captain Amazing) – just in case he needed me to unload his weapon of awesomeness – #loadedgunsaredangerous

Friday 12 p.m.: 

I received a text from Captain Amazing – He was in need of some company – totally fried – and asked if I was up for a visit later in the evening.


We will probably reach a point where he just needs to text “??” and I reply “BRT” – (be right there) –

Why waste time with extra typing??

Since that point has not arrived yet, I did answer with an all capped “YES!!” to indicate that yes, I would be happy to come over for a visit – “just let me know what time. I’m all done working for the day.”

He replied, “I’m so jealous.”

Awwww…. poor guy. #thestruggleisreal #busymakingmillions

I sent him a note of encouragement: “It’s already noon – only a few hours left. I’ll rechannel all my fun Friday antics into tonight’s pleasurefest.”

I say the nicest things 🙂


Friday 5 p.m.:

I selected a sporty outfit for my happy hour and my happiest “post-happy-hour” hours – An outfit that showcases my long legs and outstanding cleavage. #priorities

Mini-skirt, LuLu Lemon “free to be me” bra, white tank top, and strappy high wedge sandals.

It’s Arizona – we can get away with wearing a super short skirt and high-heels.

I was making a statement anyway, which is “I have long legs and brains,” so that’s all that matters. #hotdamn

Ms. Spa picked me up and we were off to Sushi Brokers to meet Mr. Cool.

Mr. Cool is super cool – I can always count on him to chill my day and request non-spa music for his appointments with me.

He’ll choose something like JJ Grey & Mofro– soulful “down and dirty” blues.

He texted me that he was on his way – “order me a Tanqueray and tonic” – and that was perfectly timed, as the bar wench had just arrived.

We ordered our drinks, and Ms. Spa and I took the opportunity to have a some boy talk while it was just the two of us.

She paid me the sweetest compliment: “I loved your post today,” referring to Voices and Other Things In My Mouth. “You are my one friend who really makes me think.” #highfivemyself

THANK YOU!!!! xo

She told me about her date the night before and how much fun she had. As she was getting to the part of “there was something missing,” Mr. Cool arrived as did the drinks.

I was so high on life at that moment because I was with my friends and going to go see Captain Amazing later, I just had to share my gloriousness on Facebook with a cryptic celebratory shout to the moon that I was going to have sex later:

Out with my fluffers (besties) – 🙂  happy hour  — at Sushi Brokers.

happy hour

It was a popular status with the guys, who commented “LOL, she said ‘fluffers'” – #pornextras

That’s what happy hour is for. 🙂

We needed to catch up with Mr. Cool – hadn’t seen him in a while.

“What’s new with you,” I asked.

He said, “Well, I’m officially single.”

“Ooooo, welcome to the party, My Friend,” I replied.

He had just the loveliest things to say about his now ex-girlfriend (I’m not being sarcastic) – and that it was difficult because she really put forth an effort to make that relationship work. …That’s how cool Mr. Cool is 🙂

We continued our ongoing discussion about our personality quirks and why “traditional” relationshits just don’t work for us. Are we somehow flawed? Or is it everybody else? #it’snotyouit’sme

He agreed with me that enmeshment doesn’t work for us.

“I love and need my alone time,” he said.

“I know, right?! I love walking around naked – and of course I have to have the middle of the bed without being touched all the time – and sometimes, I just don’t feel like talking,” I said.

“Exactly – Do you know how hard that is to find?” he asked.

“Yes, yes I do,” I said. “I would think it would be easier for me, since I’m a girl – It is rumored that that’s what all guys want – but NO, in fact – somehow I end up in the zombie apocalypse.” 

We then agreed that there are very few females on the planet who fit the model of “appropriate amount of commitment without neediness or clinginess.” Nope. It’s all I-need-to-see-you-every-day-or-I-might-die-or-get-scared.” #clingons

The conversation then shifted ever so slightly. He and Ms. Spa discussed their checklists of perfect mate traits, which may contain a million too many requirements, and perhaps the 3 missing traits might be items that are of little importance.

I suppose it depends on the 3 items. #attraction #space #sexuallyfunctioningbodyparts

I just smiled and drank – 🙂 That’s what happy hour is for.

Friday 8:30 p.m.

I texted Captain Amazing to ask him how his projects were coming along. He called me 🙂

He told me it was so nice to hear my voice. ❤

He said that he was really far behind and needed to get things done so he wasn’t sure if he would be good company.

I said, “I got you sushi. I’ll come over and help, and if we are too tired, I’ll go home.”


I love selling to a guy in sales – but don’t tell him I said that. 😉

I arrived at his house, gave him his sushi and asked for my work assignment.


Ok!! – and I entered full “get-shit-done/home-management” mode.

It’s in my skill-set.

That may not sound like blissful foreplay to those of you who do not have kids, but to those of us who have been around the block, it’s incredible to have a little helping hand when you need it, without questions or conditions.

And because of my vast experience at such things, it’s actually fun and easy to tackle these sorts of projects…They make me feel useful …

I especially love it when my payment is quality time. That’s my favorite currency.

Quality time beats quantity of time every time.

So I picked up the pile and began to sort and fold the clothes belonging to this dad and his two sons – I haven’t touched toddler-sized clothes in 12ish years – They were so damn cute – little super hero T-shirts ❤

Let me just point out – this was really fun for me!

However, I did suffer from a little bit of chest pain – I guess I was just kind of sentimental about when my own kids were so tiny. #awwwww

I finished the laundry rather quickly because I’m a witch at sorting and folding, and I returned to the kitchen where he was checking things off the packing list for his son’s camping trip.

I watched him as he was packing the bag like it was a game of Tetris. I was so entertained by this – and then I joined in the fun when the bag needed to be emptied and the items repositioned so that everything would fit in the bag.

Again, this was really fun for me – WTF???

The bag was packed. There were only two things left that needed to be accomplished:

  • Unloading and reloading the truck
  • A quick run to the store

We divided and conquered. I said that I would be happy to go to the store and then assist with the truck when I returned.


He handed me the cash, and then he paused and looked at me.

He said that he needed to be serious with me for just a moment.


As I have noted in previous posts, if there is any chance I think I might have done something wrong, I get a little panicky.

…and on the heels of having made a few mistakes earlier in the week with the former “Mr.”, I was sure that I was about to get reamed for something or asked to leave, or I was being really annoying.

Damn, and I was having so much fun!

I said, “Ok,” and I’m sure I looked like a deer in headlights.

…and I stood there and looked at him – and watched him collect his thoughts. I had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say. He took a deep breath.

I thought, “Oh shit, here it comes.”

He said, “You’re so agreeable.”


“What does that mean?????” I thought.


“Shit, I am??? HUH???? Um….?????” 

I really didn’t have a response – so I just stood there – waiting to hear that my agreeableness was somehow awful and thinking “how should I be disagreeable…Should I have disagreed with something????

I couldn’t think of anything – I had not compromised myself in any way during this friendship, so I was really puzzled.

Why was this a bad thing??

…but instead of saying something horrible – he said something profoundly amazing (I knew I picked an excellent character name for him!!).

He said, “I’m so used to being in this situation and fighting with someone, but you’re so agreeable. And I know we talk about not wanting to be in a prison, but I am so “into” you right now.”

I was stunned – and then I melted like butter right there on the floor, not gonna lie… #wetfromwords

…and then I uncontrollably giggled like the biggest dork on the planet and said “THANK YOU!!!” because I was so taken aback by this awesomeness that just turned me into an ooey-gooey mess. #wetfloor #slipperywhenwet

I didn’t quite know how to pull myself together. So I smothered him with kisses for a bit – and then I went to the store.

HOLY SHIT!!!! Oh fuck me – I did something right!!!! 

And I just couldn’t stop laughing – It was so awesome! I didn’t think it was possible to have more warm fuzzies around me if I tried.

I returned from the store, and he was outside just finishing unloading the truck. He had to unload 20 Costco-sized cases of water in order to unload boxes of pool chemicals – and then we had to reload the 20 cases of water back into the truck so they could be delivered to the camp.

I put my purse down and got to work – I didn’t ask questions – I just lifted a case of water and handed it to him on the truck….still wearing my sexy mini-skirt and high heels…and we continued like this until I handed him the last case of water.

– and then we looked at our handy work –

He then looked at my legs.

“My God, you’ve got the nicest legs,” He said.

“Thank you,” I replied. “I picked this outfit just for you.”

GOAL ACHIEVED!!!! 🙂 #highfivemyself

Friday 11 p.m.

With all chores accomplished, it was time for some fun! Woo hoo!!!

We all should be paid with orgasms – just saying.

…to be continued…



Quotes above are from “New Girl – Fluffer episode” and myself.

4 thoughts on “Fluffers and Warm Fuzzies: Part 1

  1. Pingback: Fluffers And Warm Fuzzies: Part 2 | Goddess of Healing

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