How To Choose The Path:
Get Busy Living Or Join The Zombies.
“How do I feel?” asked Brown Sugar (formerly known as Mr. Tennis).
“Like you’ve been playing a lot of tennis,” I said.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” he replied sarcastically. “What do you feel in me today?”
“There’s a heaviness about you today – Something is weighing you down,” I said.
He said, “Yes. I’m trying to choose the path. And I’m unsure. How do you choose?”
I paused and gave the question some real thought.
“Let the path choose you,” I said.
“How do I let it choose me?” he asked.
Ahhh – that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?
I had so many answers to that question and really wanted to probe deeper into his dilemma. #InquiringMinds
He confessed that he has two paths in each his professional life and his personal life. I didn’t ask what they were.
Instead, I asked him what he was afraid of. #ZombieApocalypse
“Regret,” he said.
I asked, “Do you mean like you’ll miss out on something you think is better once you’ve decided?” #GrassIsGreenerSyndrome
“Something like that,” he said.
I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.
“You CAN have it all, you know,” I said.
He said, “I don’t think so. My life has taught me otherwise.”
I told him I would sleep on it, and then let him know what I dream about.
However, the dreams didn’t come in my sleep – Rather, they came while I was hiking this morning.
Two phrases floated into my consciousness: “Let go” and “effortlessness.”
Let Go: When I am faced with questions like this, I usually lie on the ground, with my hands on my belly, and I simply ask – “How do I solve this problem?”
…and I let go…I don’t really think about it – it’s more like a dream. I rest with it a bit.
And then I leave the question that I have posed inside my trusted soul to find the answer it’s looking for.
That question is like the ring of power in the Lord of The Rings – It’s searching for its answer.
I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I’d just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.
If you fear “getting the wrong answer,” then you’re missing the point. There is no “right” or “wrong” – There just “is.”
Effortlessness: Here’s an analogy that best describes this for Brown Sugar, since he and I both play tennis: It’s hitting the sweet-spot, when you are playing “in the zone” but not zoned out.
It’s like using the Force – you anticipate and arrive where the ball is going to be before it gets there.
You’re not even thinking about it.
And your racquet is back and ready to swing, and it hits the ball in the exact sweet-spot – where the hit is effortless – you don’t even feel it. That ball hits its mark and is typically a winner.
For me, because I’m not as seasoned as Brown Sugar, that hit is rare when I play, and I usually have to ask myself, “God that felt good – How did I do that?”
When I’m running fast, I don’t feel anything. It’s effortless. It’s like my feet don’t even touch the ground. It’s like I’m flying.
Prior to being a trainer and therapist, I was a medical transcriptionist. I’ve spent 20 years online writing.
Actually, when I’m massaging, I’m writing in my head.
That is my effortlessness – my free square – My creativity brings me joy. It makes everything right for me.
Once I know that when people are interested, then I get more excited to tell them another story – and if I don’t get to tell it, I am not at my best, mentally or physically.
So my path of writing/storytelling has been buried underneath layers of everything else I’ve chosen to do.
And that path has been there choosing me all along – I just needed to let go of the bullshit and pay attention.
Brown Sugar asked me what my fear is – and I said, “success” – but that’s actually not the right word.
So while I meditated on the question he presented me, I directed myself to my very own question: What holds me back from realizing my full potential?
Sure, it could be “uncertainty.”
Then I had an “aha moment”- I’ve been working on achieving this success for so long now – What happens when I achieve it? Then what?
Obviously I’ll make new goals, enjoy the ride, etc., etc.
But there must be some part of me that understands that the game of “getting there” will be over. Then what?
The game then becomes supporting the empire – hiring staff – investing my time and resources in different areas.
When I think of those things, I get overwhelmed and paralyzed, which is ridiculous because I’m not there yet! #FutureInducedParalysis
I went to a comedy show last night, and my interest was piqued because the headliner has written a lot of books, and she’s funny and famous sort of (she probably would be to me if I had a TV).
All things I want to achieve, although instead of stand-up comedy, I would prefer “speaking engagements” – but whatever.
I watched her and asked myself if I could see myself doing that – being on the stage and bringing forth my creative yumminess – YES.
Some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.
I do not fear success – I fear being intimidated and overwhelmed. There may be an irrational fear that things may be more awesome than I can even fathom.
I think those fears are manageable as I long as I don’t paralyze myself before I reach my goal.
The point is – the path might be clouded by irrationally “thinking ahead too much” when it isn’t even warranted. #KeepYourEyeOnTheBall
Furthermore, whatever path you choose, you’re not putting cement shoes on – unless that IS the path you’re contemplating, in which case, you probably should be seeking advice from another sage (i.e. 911) – just saying.
Let go, make an effortless choice, and follow-through.
Then your real path will choose you – regardless of your decision.
But paralysis isn’t going to move you along.
Just make a decision – Get Busy Living – The path will choose you.
I hope when you take that jump,
You don’t fear the fall.
I hope when the water rises,
You built a wall
I hope when the crowd screams out,
They’re screaming your name.
I hope if everybody runs,
You choose to stay.
I hope that you fall in love,
And it hurts so bad.
The only way you can know,
Is give it all you have.
And I hope that you don’t suffer,
But take the pain.
I hope when the moment comes
I did it all!
I owned every second
That this world could give.
I saw so many places
And things that I did.
Yeah, with every broken bone,
I swear I lived.