The Previous Weekend: Part 1 – Party Planning
AKA: How Boys Plan Things
AKA: How To Avoid Frustration When You’re A Girl Who Hangs Out With Boys
June 21, 2014
4:01 a.m.: I woke up before the alarm and couldn’t wait for it to sound.
Sometimes I just can’t get out of bed before the alarm. It’s like the alarm has to give me permission to get up.
“Hiking today – “
The planning for this particular weekend was … well, annoying, to say the least … #boysarestupid
Maybe I should start there… With the planning process…
May 28, 2014
This was the day that I had emailed the guys.
“Rumor has it that there is something going on the weekend of June 21st. Mr. Julie McCoy – I have not received anything?? Are you slacking??
That weekend is wide open for me for super fun adventure, so if there is something planned, count me in – tell me where to be and when and what to bring.
If there isn’t, let’s get something on the books please…I would be so disappointed to have an open weekend with nothing outrageously cool to fill it with … My legs thank you.”
As per usual, the “reply to all” messages were sent, and a place called Canyon Point was decided upon.
The final message regarding this camping spot arrived June 4th from Captain Amazing, who volunteered himself to take care of the camping reservations.
I heard nothing after that – Until Mr. Julie McCoy came for his appointment on June 10th. He walked in and said he had just received an email that we weren’t going to be leaving until 2 p.m. on Saturday, June 21st.
I checked my email – nothing –
Two days later, I still had nothing. So being the proactive girl I am, I requested the itinerary for that weekend, kindly of course. #missmanners
“Subject: Hiking/camping next weekend
Hey guys-I haven’t heard the status of this little party – I’m off this Saturday, so if I need to go shopping, it’s an excellent day for me to do that.
Next weekend, I’m off work from Friday [June 20th] at 12 through Monday [June 22nd] at 4.
– Sent from my tablet of awesomeness -“
To which Mr. Julie McCoy, the only one to respond, said:
“We are going to do a local hike on Sunday AM starting at 5am. Place TBD.”
Wow, ok. It was probably time to be slightly more than proactive and be take-charge, avoid the emails, and handle this in person.
On Monday, June 16th, “Divine Date Night” << the details of which are awesome and in that link to the left, – I asked Captain Amazing (after we had sex, of course, because I am NOT stupid):
“What’s going on this weekend? I haven’t received any emails. Are we camping or hiking?”
Captain Amazing looked dumbfounded. #boysarestupid
“Really?” he replied. “I know you were on the emails.”
“Really – nothing,” I said.
He grabbed his phone. As he scrolled through the emails, he told me that he had a very important business meeting on Saturday – that was the only day and time his client could meet with him.
He found the email he was looking for.
“That’s not me,” I said. There was an email address that started out “mindy” with a bunch of numbers followed by @hotmail.com – Not me.
“That’s not your email?” he asked.
“No, it’s not.”
He texted Mr. Julie McCoy and gave him the correct email address.
I’m glad he is also proactive – so that moves him up slightly out of the pack of stupid boys – He gets to be their mentor for making an effort –
The rest of us gals are hopeful that others will follow in his footsteps.
I don’t expect perfection – Boys are boys – the bar is set quite low when it comes to certain things.
The effort and intention are what really matter to me. ❤
On June 17th – I emailed the guys again, requesting the details of the weekend. Since it had been downgraded to a local hike, I had clients I could put on the schedule, even though I was completely fried and could use the weekend off.
I also thought it might be nice to invite a gal friend who may or may not be a good match for Mr. Luge –
I have given myself the role of “wingman” to all of my single friends, so I create opportunities for introductions wherever possible.
“Subject: Hike on Sunday
Note the email address above – that one is mine.
I have no idea what other “mindy” you all were emailing last week.
I’m HOT, but I don’t have hotmail 🙂
There is NO WAY she’s as cute or as cool as me, either … just saying…
Are there any details available about the hike on Sunday (location, end time, other participants, etc.) … ?? LMK
The “reply to all” arrived from Mr. Luge, who said:
“I thought it was on Saturday.”
WTF???!!! Note the note above –
How do these boys function in the world???? Seriously???? #boysarestupid #thestruggleisreal
…and I actually questioned the irrationality of my irrational anger??? #perfectlyrational
I took a deep breath, changed the subject, and replied to all –
“Subject: hike Sunday or whenever the f*** it is!!
I don’t possess any of the emails that went around last week, so I might be wrong on the day – Maybe we should ask the other “mindy” ha ha!”
Mr. Julie McCoy replied, offered a trail and suggested 5 a.m. on Saturday as our meetup, and also said he was updating my email address.
At that point, I had decided to remove myself from this loop of insanity or I would go nuts.
I had too many hours of work ahead of me – I needed that weekend for a break, and I didn’t need to be one of the too many cooks stirring the pot of ineptitude.
I didn’t really care what we did, but I was going to do something fun with or without these guys.
I preferred WITH because they are really fun to be with – and I love them.
However, they are boys and lack certain communication skills – like communicating… just saying.
I replied to all and gracefully bowed out of the conversation:
“I am fine with either day –
I know that Captain Amazing has a very important commitment on Saturday – I won’t speak for him beyond that –
However, he has my permission to speak for me and make my weekend plans for me. I’ll get with him later.”
I then sent Captain Amazing a note privately:
“Dear Captain –
I booked some clients while you’re working Saturday, from 12 to 2.
I’ll leave any other planning with regard to hiking with the guys to you –
You be my fearless leader and plan my fun.”
When the email to the whole extended group was sent out – He responded on my behalf to the whole group that he and I would be there… ❤
…and he emailed me privately that he would pick me up at 5:10 a.m. and then we could do whatever we wanted after 2:30.
I thanked him for leading and planning. ❤
On Friday, June 20th, Mr. Julie McCoy emailed our small group, indicating that we were the only 4 going and would we like to meet somewhere and go in one car.
I cannot handle another change in plans – I was really looking forward to having Captain Amazing pick me up.
STAY THE COURSE…
I only responded to Captain Amazing and said:
“Just tell me where you want me.”
“I’m getting you at 5:10. Please have directions. And on your knees is where I want you.”
Good answer – xo
Too many men in the planning process will yield chaos.
Take the lead by establishing limited parameters and hand the reins to the OCD MacGyver financial wizard man – easing your stress and giving him the control he needs.
I’m sure there is one in every group.
If the plans end up messy – well that’s why Happy Hour was invented – and just drink up 🙂