Kiss Me Til I’m Drunk – And Then Strap On … The Toolbelt
I have been so “drunk” from sex in the last few weeks – It’s beyond what I’ve experienced in my lifetime.
I have had the
worst BEST sex hangovers.
The sex is so f*ing amazing right now – If I think about it, my knees buckle and I sweat.
Really, I would call the intoxication “passion buzz” – I would say it is like “like” on crack cocaine but I’ve never had cocaine – so we will say it is “like” on Jell-O Shots.
Even still, when I am sporting that amazing buzz, I don’t want it to end, but I also don’t want too much – I don’t want to get sloppy drunk or blackout.
This situation is so
BAD AWESOME right now that I’m instantly intoxicated by the mere memory of our last few sessions and then instantly hungover – and I feel like I’ve been punched in the uterus!
The best drinking hangover remedy is a Bloody Mary plus lots of water and Advil, so I think the best sex hangover remedy is more sex plus lots of water, bourbon, and more sex. 😉
This makes me hallucinate and see phallic symbols and innuendo in everything.
I was shopping at Home Depot for a light bulb to replace the expired one in my massage room. I was told I needed to fix the Feng Shui, which I have to agree with because there has been a string of unfortunate events recently – another story entirely.
I probably shouldn’t have been shopping in the hardware store while I’m feeling like an oversexed/undersexed slutty ho vixen. #nympho
Anyway, as I came around the corner to the carpentry aisle, there was a lot of wood… in a variety of lengths and thicknesses …
…and near the box with the long thick wooden rods, there was a man with a tool belt rhythmically pounding his wood.
He stopped nailing it and wiped sweat from his forehead with his free hand.
“Can I help you find something?” he asked.
I wiped the drool from my mouth and thought “Wet naps” but replied with, “I’m looking for recessed light bulbs that will dim.”
“Come with me,” he said.
Gladly – a few times!
We came around another corner and passed chains and ropes.
There was a long-shafted drive drill….and then the lubricant aisle where I saw the lube for that drill shaft…
Thank goodness wetness is not an issue for me! #tmi #justsaying #waterrules
There was another man laying pipe over by the taps and faucets …
Oh then I saw it –
Quick hardening caulk…
He said, “You don’t have to wait for this caulk to harden.”
…and we finished in the light bulb aisle… I thanked him for his time and attention and sent back to complete his wood pounding.
I really should recommend to the single gals I know that Home Depot is probably the best place to meet a guy. #1 – He’s going to be handy to have around. #2 Men who fix things are just damn sexy.
She could just walk up to the cutest guy in the store and say:
“Do you know where I get nailed? I mean nails… My bad, I’ve been drinking all afternoon.”
And that way he would know
1 – She’s easy.
2- She likes to drink.
Oh wait – That’s me, not my friends 🙂
I’m not gonna lie…sometimes I just watch Captain Amazing fixing things. It’s such a turn on.
He’s a man being a MAN!!
He also plots and performs his engineering prowess wearing shorts or just underwear, sometimes nothing, depending on what he’s fixing. #clothesoptional
This is great for me because I can be creative with my outfits, which have gone from super cute little numbers to just a tank top and Victoria’s Secret polka dot panties.
I rock a lot of polka dots!
I made him bacon bourbon for tonight – seems like a manly drink – and perhaps that and more sex, lots of water, and more sex will cure this sex hangover.
…and then he’ll kiss me til I’m drunk…
…and strap on the tool belt…