This last week week – From Saturday to Saturday – was highlighted by Celebrities, Events, Conspiracies, Alliances, And of course Sex (not in the traditional sense – although is there anything traditional about my sex???)…
Part 1: My Evening With Ira Glass
Saturday, October 11
I’m not sure how Ira will respond to being a featured guest on my blog – but he inspired me so much when I met him. #npr #serial #thisamericanlife #nerdalert
TRUTH: Before I met him, I didn’t know who he was – had never heard of him.
My friend texted me and said she wanted to ask me on a date. WOO HOO! I love dates! And she is a connoisseur of theater, and I welcome invitations to culture because I love culture. #truestory
So I said “yes” before I knew what it was that we were doing.
I was also invited to Brown Sugar’s “Fusion Supper Club” party that night. I texted him to ask how long the party was going to last.
He said, “As late as you want 🙂 “
Mmmm…ding dong…. I like that answer. – I’ll do both events!
My date picked me up and off we went to spend an evening with a radio show celebrity.
The first man we met was the marketing guru for KJZZ, the local affiliate for NPR. Wow, talk about brown sugar! That man was gorgeous.
I wasn’t sure if that was who we were supposed to meet, but I enjoyed meeting him! And OH what a voice!!!! No wonder he is on radio.
KJZZ had a divine spread of gourmet appetizers out, so I selected a few vegetables (roasted red pepper from heaven) – and we found a vantage point on this private balcony overlooking the beautiful lights of the Mesa Center For Performing Arts.
A lady walked over to us and asked if we had met Ira yet. Nope –
She walked us over and there he was. I asked my friend if we were supposed to be fangirling. She wasn’t sure.
But the gal in front of us was – I thought she was going to swoon!
We approached Ira and stood next to him – He had a fine lady on both sides – An Ira sandwich!
He introduced himself to me, and we shook hands. I then introduced him to my friend – She was, after all, my date and the one who knew who he was!
We chatted for a while and had many photos taken, which I have been unable to hunt down.
TRUTH: He has the softest hands.
We were escorted to our choice seats near the front row of the stage.
The show was great! Now I know why he has been on the air for 17 years.
The stories hit me in such a way that I felt like my life would never be the same -The whole evening clicked and I had a glimpse of the awesomeness that lay ahead of me.
What was it about this man – One radio host and two dancers that spoke to me?
I think it was the construction of the show and the stories.
And in my post meet-and-greet
stalking researching, I found the extremely recent clip from when he was on Jimmy Fallon #jimmyfallonfangirl #ilovejimmyfallon
And they talked about his tweet that Shakespeare sucks…I had actually seen that tweet during my
I became a fan. #nerdfangirl
I won’t listen on regular radio, like in the car, because that’s not my thing – but a podcast is.
That led to the discovery of The Moth. My friend said that if I ever get on The Moth, she will travel to wherever I am telling my story and listen, even though she reads my blog and talks to me every week.
The butterfly is my spirit animal – Just saying –
Hmmmm….LIGHT BULB…maybe I’ll speak my stories, not just write them down….
Alas, I was fangirling so hard that I didn’t make it to Brown Sugar’s Fusion Supper Club – I asked him how I could make it up to him.
He said, “You’re creative. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
Part 2: Conspiracies And Collaborations
Subsection A: Conspiracy Theory
So Mr. Julie McCoy is running in the NY Marathon November 2nd. I love to see my friends strive for achievements, especially when they are big bucket list deals. #goforit
Do or do not. There is no try.
He then sent me a “coupon” to register for the Phoenix Marathon on February 28, 2015, and volunteered himself to be my running coach. #shit
I’ve been on the fence about running a full. I’ve done 2 halves (that makes a full, right??) #math
Plus I’ve walked 60 miles 3 times…
I’m not gonna lie – I have been searching for a bit of spark to light my workout fire.
I do have vanity goals right now. However, vanity is not an event.
It’s not something I can high-five myself when I cross the finish line of “DAMN I LOOK HOT!”
The popular fitness culture has conspired against that opinion – with lots of “challenges” and “contests” and before-and-after pictures.
Let me just make this emphatic observation: Dieting is NOT a sport – It is not a test of wills – It is not something that you should win a prize for. It’s also not fun.
Sex IS a sport (read on). And I believe Captain Amazing has ordered my trophy for First-Place in my division – The Unicorn Division.
Sure, hitting that vanity goal CAN lead to sex – but it doesn’t sustain it.
Don’t get me wrong – the ultimate vanity carrot being dangled in front of me is the fact that I committed to
dressing undressing as Mystique for Marvel Universe on March 7, 2015.
I envisioned my two choices at being Mystique: Average or Champion.
I choose Champion.
“Maybe I just need a running coach,” I thought. “…and I can just train myself.”
I’ve been wanting to hire a personal trainer (read on). But it’s hard to find someone who treats working out as fun – but who also doesn’t stand around and talk.
I don’t want to talk. I want to sweat and get my ass kicked.
I read the promo again for the marathon – looked at the calendar – remembered what I did to take my body-fat down to 16%.
I entered my information and clicked SUBMIT.
What have I gotten myself into???
So THAT happened!
Subsection B: Retraction and Collaboration
Friday October 10
I had a conversation with Captain Amazing while I was driving him to the airport – (holy shit – THAT happened) –
He is surrounded by some co-dependency that is none of my business but I did feel compelled to explain how I would NOT ask an ex for help.
He said, “So let’s say you get bored with me and we are not together anymore…You wouldn’t ask me for help?”
I said, “First, I can’t imagine being bored with you. Second, you and I are friends for life, so it’s kind of different. And third – No, I wouldn’t.”
It’s a condition I have – Extreme pride and independence –
Monday October 13
For the third October in a row, Mr. KC, a man whom I met and dated 2 years ago, returned to my life. He actually stayed in touch a lot more this year – Yay –
This time, however, he asked me for “help.”
Not for money or to borrow a car or for a place to live –
(if anyone were to ask me for those things, I’d help make a kick-ass sign and find the most marketable street corner for them to work -)
Rather – He asked for my creative expertise and in return, I would receive compensation. Fair enough.
Also he put an idea on the table about a collaboration, which would be inspirational to the world and extremely profitable for us, the way both of us envision it.
He asked me then what I would need – and I outlined the work I have done in building my empire – in great detail – and highlighted a few of the missing pieces.
I then asked for his help –
Irony: A situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected.
Let me just point out, he’s not technically an ex. We only dated for 4 months, so it doesn’t really count. And we have remained friends long after the sex ended.
I’m not even sure that we technically dated, but I don’t know what else to call it. I have trouble with labels.
I’ve written our story down – it’s good enough to be a movie –
I have to say that whatever it was, let’s call it “dating” – Dating him was like dating Brad Pitt – He’s somewhat of a celebrity and I was a total fangirl when I was with him. #fangirling #itsathing
At any rate, I must retract my earlier generalization about help from an ex – and further define that I will not ask for codependent help, like money or a car or a place to live.
I will not have codependency within a relationship and I certainly will not have it after.
Subsection C: Forging An Alliance
Thursday October 16
Somewhat in passing, Mr. Julie McCoy passed a website to me. He said, “You might like these guys.”
He then added that he needed my creativity with some of the nerd questions in the interview.
TRUTH: Second man this week who requested my creativity. BAM! That’s success RIGHT THERE!!!
I read the questions first – because doing things backwards is one of my special talents – and then clicked on the website link.
The choir of angels sang when I saw Dumbbells And Dragons – My people – More members to add to my tribe.
My fangirl state escalated quickly, from just checking you out, to full “I need you now!”
I don’t want to date these guys, so I can be as crazy as all anything. – Hot Crazy Matrix be damned – #girlsarecrazy #fangirlalert
I followed them on Twitter and then sent them a note on their page. Ken tweeted me back and then requested I send him an email so we could chat in more than 140 characters.
…and it all went
downhill soaring from there…
The fangirl inside me told story after story, puns, nerd tales, and how much I needed to be part of their empire…and asked them what they needed to become HUGE, in a non-Viagra way.
..and I sent them here – To read about our Grand Canyon adventure – To read about sex and the zombie apocalypse #itsathing –
I told them I would love to be a regular recurring guest on their show – and they concur! Ken said he would have me on a bunch!
My answers to the interview questions are LEGEN – wait for it – DARY!
I have scripted a recurring performance. I’m so excited ❤
I think the ULTIMATE FANGIRL STATE is to be a fangirl of yourself.
Part 3: My Fangirls, Sex & My Personal Trainer
One of my female clients returned from her summer someplace cooler than hell, and she looked at me and said, “My God, you look amazing. How do you do it? Seriously, what are you doing?”
To which I replied, “Lots of really amazing sex!!”
She said, “Oh, that’s what I’m doing wrong.”
We both laughed, and I said, “I’m so sorry. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry.”
She said, “Me too.” And we laughed again!!
That conversation has been retold at parties – because one of her male friends, another client of mine – said I have become a legend and the envy of all the women in their community.
YOWZA – I have my own fangirls!!!
Another client returned for her appointment with me – She and her friends started a “blog club” – Like a book club, except they are reading my blog – Out loud – to each other.
I love it – These women in their 60s – saying “cock” out loud. It warms my heart!
…and now the pressure is really on – Committed to
dressing undressing as Mystique, running a marathon, AND competing in my favorite sport to earn that trophy Captain Amazing is designing for me…
As I stated above, I have been wanting to hire a personal trainer.
…and then my friend, Ms. Spa, sent me an intriguing email.
…about a pleasure personal trainer…
Since I waste no time
stalking researching people and things that I am passionate about – I checked it out and was in fangirl sex heaven – The choir of angels sang to me AGAIN!
I immediately contacted LELO and showed them my blog –
I have been ACCEPTED to represent and inspire women (couples) to take their sex to the next level!! Another collaboration this week –
I also “hired” my pleasure personal trainer – to make sure that I am at the top of my sport – the sport of champions –
I’ve named her Lola (she was a show girl) – and she treats working out as fun but also doesn’t stand around and talk. I sweat and get my ass kicked!
That trophy will be mine!!!
I’m also fangirling this toy >> LELO IDA << The diagrams – Oh Captain Amazing – my birthday is coming up!! ❤
Sunday October 19
A new week begins…Captain Amazing has returned from his vacation – Watch for the next epic story…I know, you’re on the edge of your seat…and probably a little nervous.
I have to go run 8 miles…