Boy Crazy

Crazy For Boys #CrayCray

Warning: Today’s post is rated “yeah, I really said that.”

It is dedicated to the boys I love – all of you – which is too numerous to count – plus hashtags – #PMHT

I really can’t help myself – I’m boy crazy. It’s an addiction. The more I flirt, the more I need to flirt, and the more I enjoy flirting.

Sometimes there’s a goal – most of the time, there isn’t.

Since ramping up my Twitter presence, which is still quite feeble, I’ve stumbled upon some new stalkers fans who are sooooo sweet – They PM-Flirt with me and send me the nicest pics! #PenisPics

Hey guys – Here’s a little tip for ya – it’s a secret, so shhhhh – Um, we gals like to use our imaginations … so leave something covered … And if you do the lighting and positioning right – well it does make a difference. #ArtisticDickPics

Unless we actually have established an intimate relationship with your cock, we really don’t find it attractive….just saying… #TrueStory

I think Captain Amazing’s cock is awesome. (And I sing that – AWESOME) – picture little musical notes all around that AWESOME!

We discussed that yesterday before the football game – It’s perfect for me – even though I can’t quite get it all the way down my throat.

Can I just give props to the professional porn girls out there who can deep throat and make it look so easy? PROPS! #PropsToPorn

It is NOT easy – but I continue to put forth effort to achieving this goal. And godbless Captain Amazing for his patience and willingness to sacrifice his body and vital parts for my training.

He’s a true trooper.

I have a small mouth and big teeth – which I wouldn’t trade those things. I have a nice smile.

So we will continue to try – What is the saying about games? It’s not whether you win or lose but the fact that you continue to play, try, try, try, swallow, choke, try again… that’s what counts.

~~

Yesterday, Oh YASSSS, I went to the Cardinals game with 3 men

Ladies – there is a reason why I am a unicorn and I hang with guys –

I WATCH THE GAME – I understand the game – I do not text, Tweet, Pinterest, or Facebook during the game. #PayAttention

My phone remains in my stylish, clear plastic, NFL-approved bag – Next to my clear plastic Ziplock money bag and clip, hair clip (in case there’s an opportunity to tie my hair back during a tailgating quickie), my ticket, and my tampons 🙂

That’s why I get invited to these games – not because I keep tampons in my stylish, clear plastic, NFL-approved bag – but because I watch the game; I understand the game; I don’t bitch, moan, or nag…

…Oh, and during the sit-down parts of the game, my hand remains comfy-cozy rubbing CA’s “eh hem” JEANS 😉 – The Cardinals play better when I do this. #LuckyRubDown #DontFuckWithAWinningStreak

I also wear great Cardinals tops – Like this one:

cardsshirt1

I couldn’t decide between this or my Victoria’s Secret ❤ The Cardinalsshirt, so I packed that one just in case.

The first thing Captain Amazing said (after ‘hi’) was “Great shirt – I love it” – followed by a kiss and a “let’s go play before the game.” #IWin

Problem solved!

So we were taking the other guys home after the game, and Mr. Luge’s new phone was speaking to him – “Call from, so-n-so. Accept or Ignore” – to which he said, “Ignore.”

“Text from so-n-so. Read?”

It has car mode, so it announces everything in a female computer voice…and reads texts out loud…

So I said, “That’s it – I’m going to have to dirty text you because I want her to say ‘fuck‘ out loud.”

He said he would listen to those dirty texts out loud – and in mixed company.

So I fetched my phone from my stylish, clear plastic, NFL-approved bagand sent him this gem:

Pours Poprocks into mouth –
Now where is that dick of yours?

CLASSIC!

I would say, “Don’t try that at home,” but I’m kind of curious.

~~

So today was spent with fancy planes and fancy cars and fancy fantasies. I was with 5 guys today – 6 if you include our guide Mr. Bobby – plus I had phone calls from and texts from other boys.

Even the guy at Whole Foods was a guy –

I saw one female client.

…and then my friend Homer sent me this video. It reminded him of me (awwww … so sweet!!!!) and my magic wand Majestic Purple – which is still in the other toy box…

…Or is it?????!!!!!!!

HEY YOU KIDS – !!!!!!

So 2 more females (yay) and 2 more penises. #FakeDicksCount

mom superhero

 

 

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