The Fellowship of the Falls – Book 1: Chapter 1

To The Falls and Back Again

Book 1: Chapter 1

The world has changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air.

I have returned from an arduous trek – A quest to test the limits of my spirit and my physical being – and I was joined by 4 incredible men – together united by one common goal: To have a kick-ass EPIC adventure and not die. #truestory

It’s a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

We began as 5 individuals (subset of a larger group): Captain Amazing, Mr. Julie McCoy, me, Mr. Luge,  and Mr. Bobby (pictured below).

However, as our journey unfolded, we became a family united in comradery, jokes, laughter, daring feats of strength, and a will to make it back to the top of the Canyon with our gear, without the assistance of mules.

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I’ll go ahead and treat some of our camp antics like Vegas…what was said and heard at camp, stays at camp. I believe I’ve earned a reputation – which I’m more than okay with because I earned it.

But I have a feeling that my little Vegas rule is not going to hold up, and what was said and heard at camp will come back up and out every time we are together! I might as well throw out the Vegas rule and just spill. #ohohoh

Pre-saga: Planning

Unlike Frodo Baggins, we did plan our descent into the Canyon under the guidance of our faithful cruise director Mr. Julie McCoy, planning meals; carefully measuring and weighing gear; ordering more gear; organizing and reorganizing gear; ordering more gear; envisioning what we would need and when; and making sure each of us could handle the load…and ordering more gear.  #ocd

…except for rogue Mr. Bobby, who insisted on carrying the weight of another person plus the other person’s gear in his ultimate vision quest to have his own survivalist TV show – When he gets it, I want to find out what the camera crew does when the survivalist star is near death – Are they doing shots of whiskey and having a good laugh??

In my own training, I climbed a lot of stairs and visited Captain Amazing – I had to make sure the reputation I was about to establish was at its peak. 🙂  I performed admirably.

We did a pre-hike hike and pre-camp camp – It looked like we were as ready as we were going to be for the first of what will be MANY adventures.

However, Captain Amazing couldn’t find his flip-flops – damnit! Where is that x-ray vision??

Day 1: The Journey Begins

We arrived at our meeting place where gear was sorted and loaded into our vehicle, filled to the brim. We should have taken a picture of the back of the car – next trip.

We set sail at 5pm through rush-hour traffic to meet up with other members of the group: Challenge #1.

Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread through shadows to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight.

It was 80 or so degrees leaving Phoenix. We arrived in Flagstaff where the temperature was cut in half – We were hungry and thirsty and a little weary. We dragged our cold parched bodies from the car to the pub.

After round #1 of beverages – we were warmed up and our personalities came out –

We made introductions to the other subset of our complete camp. Ms. 3-Liters-Of-Wine (Ms. 3L for short) asked how our merry LOUD band of five knew each other.

I summarized for her: “They are all my clients – Mr. Bobby is my brother (pointing to him). This one (indicating Captain Amazing) used to be married to his (Mr. Luge) sister. These two were fraternity brothers in college (pointing to Mr. Julie McCoy and Mr. Luge); and I’m sleeping with him (pointing to Captain Amazing).

And then we all chanted – “Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry!!!!!!”  #jerryspringer

Note: I love being one of the guys. It wayyy more fun than being one of the girls. #iloveboys

After thoroughly embarrassing and harassing our bar wench about the size of her breasts and various other inappropriate topics, it was time to move on – with another 2-½ hours of driving left to go to reach the trail head.

By the way, Captain Amazing did NOT sleep at all that last leg of the drive – but snored amazingly well for a wide awake man 😉 He is amazing, after all! #breatherightstrips

We arrived at the trail head lot at about midnight. There were cars everywhere, lining both sides of the narrow road and filling the parking lot. We found our parking spot…

Our original intention was to pitch a tent and sleep in it; however, we didn’t move from our spots in the car.

As exhaustion set in, I listened to these 4 men sleep, breathing deeply, with heads bobbing every which way, and I drifted in and out of uncomfortable quasi-sleep….UNCOMFORTABLE is the key word here.

…until thankfully Captain Amazing insisted it was time to move because he hadn’t slept at all – hmmmm… #denial

So we opened the car doors and let in the freezing air, exited the car, and began Day #2 – which looked like this:

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The quoted material and characters from Lord of the Rings are the property of JRR Tolkien. I’m in awe of his creative genius. This is just a blog and just for fun.