Year of the Yang Fire Monkey

YEAR OF THE YANG FIRE MONKEY

The beginning of the end started with an email newsletter about the Chinese New Year…YEAR OF THE YANG FIRE MONKEY…

Interestingly enough, I was born in the year of the monkey, and I’m a yang fire person:

“A Yang Fire type person is honest, open-hearted, optimistic, radiates joy, hope, warmth and love. However, they can sometimes be fierce, quick tempered, straight-forward speakers who say exactly what they feel or is on their minds, without much filter. A Yang Fire person feels their emotions deeply both good and bad. In general, a person born in a Yang Fire year will be noticed; often the center of attention.”

I found this fascinating and I reached out to the author, who explained the following:

The Monkey is one of the 3 animals forming a dangerous configuration or clash called “Three Penalty.” This includes the Monkey, the Tiger, and the Snake and together they will generate strong fire elements.

People with this clash may make dramatic changes (such as a job change or move). These can be quite positive opportunities, too! This year it is recommended that a person with a clash carries the pendant of a Snake which will help deflect the Monkey and, therefore, minimizing the negative influence of the clash.

The Monkey resides in the Southwest and is the seasonal birth of the water element. The image is the sun setting in the west and the water helps to temper the fire.

The Monkey is also known as a ‘Traveling Horse.’ This year will bring more opportunities to travel and is good for tourism/hospitality.

Given the set of circumstances both professionally and personally, I took her recommendation to wear a snake pendant.

The pendant arrived at the end of my sickness…and with it, transformed everything.

My health turned the corner…

I consulted with the author to do more work. She said I was coming into great fortune, and that I would meet my mate this year (which caused me to pause, since CA and I were still dating)…I had 2 places to move my bed for good luck:

I could move the head of my bed to the East wall, facing west. This would lead to discovering my mate more quickly.

I felt like vomiting, so I asked what my other option was.

She said I could the head of my bed to the South wall, facing north, in the Southwest corner of the room. This was the wall of financial good fortune.

I chose that wall!

I went through the apartment and slowly applied everything she recommended, except for the water features…my fear being feeding the water when I’m gone…I might have to get over that fear sooner rather than later.

Dream Managing Part 1

Genie's_Lamp

I’m sitting on the edge of a deeply skewed reality (delusion technically) while facing an illusion, a dream…A list of them really.

 

I’ve known for the last year that THIS LAST YEAR was pivotal in making me whole. I’ve known for the last many years, really since the night I “died” in October 2007 that I’ve been broken.

 

Not just broken in half, like I originally thought. I’ve been shattered into a thousand pieces.

 

I created the delusion of happiness for my survival so that I could put myself back together. But it’s like putting together a hollow chocolate bunny.

 

It’s that I don’t have substance or depth – I just haven’t been COMPLETE or whole. And I’ve lived in that skewed reality for soooooo long that I don’t remember anymore what it’s like to be a whole person – and that scares me.

 

Two weeks ago, we sat in the Dream Room at my awesome work place. To call it “work” doesn’t really capture what this place is and what we do. It’s like Disneyland for business – and nerds 🙂 We have a Dream Room – nuff said.

 

My team had a dream session with our dream manager: Goal – to dream…and to dream BIG…get outside our comfort zones…then reconvene 2 weeks later with a list of dreams so we can take the next steps to making them come true. #WishUponAStar

 

I started making my list, and anytime a certain dream made me uncomfortable (i.e. “that’ll never happen”) I wrote it down. Prior to last Friday, October 29, my list looked like this:

  • Youngest, Middlest, and Oldest to be able to travel with me and to be able to come to Rocky Point with Captain Amazing and me.
  • Make $100,000 annually and keep growing that until (see the third item).
  • Fix my shoulder.
  • Create the business that Captain Amazing and I always talk about – and that business earns over $13,000,000 in revenue annually and ultimately monthly.
  • Captain Amazing manages my wealth, and it earns enough money from his mad skills that I don’t have to work anymore, but I still want to because I love what I do.
  • Walk The Camino – Round Trip
  • Plan, attend, lead other retreats worldwide.
  • New Car that I OWN – and 1 for Middlest and 1 for Youngest …Plus a fun car that I own…no payments…and someone I can rely upon to handle all of the maintenance on it so that I don’t have to worry about that stuff.
  • Play tennis again consistently.
  • Employee of the month.
  • A new position at work created for me 🙂
  • Write, publish, and sell my books –
  • A “Personal Team” – in which it’s a family but without the traditional headaches of a family – Completely new invention of what a “family” is and what a “couple” is:  with a new house with a “man cave” and “woman cave” for private time for the adults…further defined as the blog has been laid out (See My Radical Views of Relationships, Voices And Other Things In My Mouth)
    • House on a beach (beaches)
    • House on a lake North to escape the summer heat.
  • Bodyfat percent of 18% because I lift weights appropriately, do an appropriate amount of cardio, have a personal trainer that I see every day, and a personal chef who plans out my food so I don’t have to do it.
    • True Confession: Pose in Playboy when I turn 50 (I wrote that gem down when I was 18) – Although I’d like to do that the first time at age 47 and then be a recurring guest.
  • Spend more social time with people that I like on a consistent basis.
  • Restore my neural pathways to undo traumatic damage.
  • Equine therapy (although I think I’d be really outstanding at this)
  • Skydiving
  • Travel the world – seeking adventure, but also writing about it, podcasting about it. Maybe for a whole year (depends on the formation of the PERSONAL TEAM and how the Monthly Revenue shakes out – because I want them on these journeys)…
  • Retreats – this has been a recurrent dream that is currently in negotiation with one of my clients. I tried to get that off the ground as a business, but I was in “desperation” mode, and dreams don’t come true in “desperation” mode.
  • Plan more vacation and more time off so that I can have more of a life.
  • Continue to add to this list
  • Be a public speaker – Ted Talk and Wisdom 2.0 – More importantly, The Moth.
  • Go to Turkey for Maya’s detox program – Attend her certification in Kundalini Yoga.
  • Go to a 4-week intensive fitness, yoga, mega healthy retreat.
  • Go to Bali and write with Mastin Kipp
  • The winning lottery ticket for the carpool duo.

I put some of the things in motion as I was writing them down. Ironically last Friday, my car broke, to the point that it may be totaled. I think the trauma was internalized.

Captain Amazing rescued me – so good!

I’m now carpooling to work, spending quality time with someone I like very much, and with whom I can have elevated discussion.

I am close to picking up enough clients to satisfy the extra $50,000 I need to hit the $100,000 annual, so now I’m growing that.

I did reach out to my tennis coach, but I had to cancel that lesson. Regrouping on that one.

And then…I found out that I’d been nominated for employee of the month – While I didn’t win ultimately, the magical list is doing it’s thing.

…to be continued…

 

Walk Of *135 Miles

* Results May Vary 🙂

I sat across the table from my “Navajo” Spirit-Guide for the second time as we entered phase 2 in preparation for my spirit-walkabout. We were at Jason’s Deli, where I was eating my leaves, seeds, veggies, and quinoa. He was showing me the Navajo ways of relationships – which I found fascinating considering that those are my ways as well, from a deep intuitive space. He was also teaching me how to walk in the world, on my journey. 

It’s a journey that I’m taking to fully exit the “old” ways and enter my new way of being, engaging and walking on the planet.

There are a few people who are not fans of this, one who is but also isn’t, and a few others who agree with me that I need to do this.

Captain Amazing is the one on the fence – not because he doesn’t believe in me but because when I hatched this plan, he and I were both under such insurmountable stress that I was shedding tears every time a breeze blew by my face, and he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

We were just trying to reach the promised land – of the career growth and life enhancement we both wanted for ourselves and each other but seemed to be blocked by many obstacles. 

And that stress has been enough to end any other friendship/datingship/relationship thing but not ours, although there have been some tears and awkward moments…However, through this experience, we have solidified our faith in our friendship/datingship/relationship thing, even though we are not any closer to defining it or labeling it for the outside world to understand, and even though there was a brief period BCC (Before Career Change) when we were talking about talking about it. 

—————————————————————————————————————-

Captain Amazing reluctantly loaned me his backpack and some gear to head out into the wilderness on my own.

“What’s he going to provide for you,” CA asked, referring to my “Navajo” Spirit Guide.

“Um, we are going to go over what food to bring, and he said I need a water filter,” I replied. I was too tired to think coherently while he was gearing me up. 

He just looked at me like I was an idiot and like he was worried about me and for me. 

The original plan was scattered, I’ll admit, and I was definitely winging it, so I could understand his concern. But I also knew I desperately needed to get outside, get away, find myself, be alone with myself, as if my life depended on it, which was ironic considering I’ve been incredibly lonely. 

Being in solitude and being lonely are two entirely different things. Loneliness occurs when there is no intention of being alone – and it can happen when you’re with people or not.

Oneness is intentional. 

 

He weighed the pack – 43 pounds. He said, “When we did the Grand Canyon, your pack was about 29.”

“I can handle it,” I said.

Again, he looked at me like I was an idiot and like he was worried about me and for me.

I knew that my Navajo Spirit-Guide was going to unload most of the pack anyway, especially once I got my hands on a water filter. However, I wanted CA to feel like he was “fixing” my problem because he’s a real man – and the realest man I’ve ever had. It is necessary that I honor his role in my life. 

“Don’t you have any girl friends you can do this with?” he asked with caring concern. 

“Nobody I know would do this, and I need to be alone. I’m not trying to be a hero or prove that I can “survive” with just a knife and matchstick out there,” I replied. “I’ll be smart.”

FEAR CREEPS IN

While trying to cure my loneliness, I had joined some Meet-Up groups so I could wander places with people, perhaps meet some people who are just as crazy as I am, so that when Captain Amazing is not available to play with me, like next week, I can still be social. 

I attended a few hikes, and then an invitation crossed my email which read “Tragedy” – UGH! Some members of one of my new hiking groups were struck by lightning in the Grand Canyon. 

The only thing I fear on my walkabout is the weather. 

I still hadn’t solidified a map or plan in my head as to how the whole adventure was going to shake down or what exactly I needed to give myself. 

I knew I needed to walk a lot of miles outside, without music or noise; to exercise beyond what I’ve been able to do in the last year; to sleep and rest; to journal — all to prepare myself mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically for my new challenge that starts on July 13th. 

And it is my final week to do it. 

I originally wanted to be out in the wilderness for a full 5 days. But I had too many things to do at home still…

So I modified the dates and my intentions. My spirit journey will begin a few days earlier than originally planned, with a 15-mile walk locally followed by a workout, rest, pool, journaling.

My days will continue in this manner for 6 days, when my Navajo Spirit-Guide will take me to the wilderness and begin the first phase of the ceremony. I will learn to make my own shelter; what plants I need to eat; where I need to go for water, rest, walking, solitude. On the final day, my Navajo Spirit-Guide will return for me and we will complete the ceremony. 

I will have designed my new Mandala – what defines me in my role on the planet and with my tribe and my community. I will have walked approximately 135 miles. 

I will have my perspective and my soul back.

WHERE DID THEY GO?

It’s very difficult to end a relationship service business. These are people I have grown to know and care for over many years, many of whom I saw once a week or twice a month…and now I don’t see them. 

There are some I would like to remain seeing but with different roles – not as client/therapist, payer/payee – but as friends. 

My brother and his wife moved – the only family I had here in Arizona besides my kids – my son moved out; Middlest graduated from high school and is moving out next month. That’s a lot of “people” change.

In my attempts to step away from the massage business so I could grow into something bigger and better for my whole self, I encountered other like-minded people who wanted the same. It was exciting! I was willing to put myself out there to create joint ventures with them. But they are gone now too. 

My introspection has led me to this conclusion:
1) I have extraordinarily high expectations when it comes to work.
2) Perhaps I have not been as vested or as patient as I have believed myself to have been when working with others. 

I would love to “blame” the others for disappearing, but when two different ventures within the span of a year just crumble into dust, and the common denominator is ME, then I can only conclude the problem is with ME, not them. 

However, it is not easy saying, “You know, this just isn’t working. I need more help, more support, an equal partner, and I’m just not receiving that.” It’s even more difficult when I’m not even able to say those things because the other person is not available. 

I lead by example wherever I can; however, I’m a really shitty manager. I am wayyyy ok admitting that. I do too much. I have too many ideas and not enough boxes to put them in. I chase shiny objects. 

That’s probably why Happiest Little Boy and I get along so well and why we love each other soooooo much – we have the same attention span!

Nevertheless, I’m the queen, nay Goddess of Adaptation and making bad things work, which is a blessing and a curse, so I will persevere. 

To that end, I entered the arena of finding an established team to work with me, one that will pay me generously for my knowledge, skill set, and talents. And I found it. The inside of the building is as colorful and creative as me. It’s like Disneyland for marketing and software. 

I sat in the lobby waiting for my third interview to start. I watched my future teammates enter the building – Happy – and dressed casually (I don’t have to go shopping to work here!) – and they were happy. They smiled and greeted one another…

I found my work people and environment where I can be myself and be my driven self; hold myself accountable; and honor my competitive nature, my love of learning, teamwork, growth, opportunity, and creativity. 

And they have welcomed me to the team, to their culture.

Even better, my teammates are held accountable by someone else and by something else bigger than me (and NOT by me directly), so I don’t have to worry if someone is going to show up for me. If that person doesn’t, someone else will step in and be there. 

It will be quite a change for me to enter Corporate-Land, but I do believe the structure will cure me of my SOD (Shiny Object Syndrome) because I will create new adventures with and for each client I work with, so I can give away my ideas and yet get paid for them, and I won’t have to put them into boxes for myself. It’s really exciting. 

Day #1 in my new daily environment is July 13th.

——————————————————————————————————————

I’ll be writing about this adventure and letting go of a lot of shiny objects. If you need a shiny object, I have one for you.

 

Career Aspirations – Part II

As of today, May 24, 2015, I have 4 massages left to finish up my massage therapy career. It’s been something I’ve been planning for over a year. It’s terrifying!

And explains my conspicuous absence from the blog I love so very, very much.

As I rekindle my fond love affair with myself and my blog, I have to share something rather “special,” possibly “special needs,” which I CAN say and remain within the realm of political correctness since my son is special needs.

I have co-created Wild Women Of Wellness, where I have finally determined the new word – opposite of relationshit, which is “real”ationship. We have created an 8-week online program, with a musical theme, much like a Broadway Show, and the greatest idea I’ve ever had coming to life – a true “choose your own adventure” and story book that you write yourself, to heal yourself.

As I developed this idea and brightened the light bulb over my head, which was more like a neon bar sign, and worked with my Infusionsoft coach, I discovered I found a big corporation that I actually have an affinity for.

And the more I learned, studying every video I could get my hands on, the more I thought – “I would work for this company.”

So I took a big giant step toward that, went to their website, and discovered they are hiring – oooo lucky me. Of course, I had to pull up my old job application from last year, so they can see that I’m not a one-off.

I shared the company and the video of their culture with Youngest, who said, “Wow, you’d do so good there.” 

So I went through the questions. I didn’t copy them because I didn’t know I would be posting this, but I’ll try to remember the best I can. (IQ=Infusionsoft Question. MA=My Answer)

IQ: 1. If you could be a cereal, what would you be?

MA: I would love to be a Froot Loop because I’m goofy, fruity, and colorful. However, I’m not artificial anything. I’m as REAL as it gets.

I could be Frosted Flakes because I’m GRRRRREAT! And if a tiger wearing an ascot describes me with such enthusiasm, that’s just awesome.

I’m definitely NOT Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I am not a cannibal.

Youngest offered a suggested question, which I did put into my application. If we are going for REAL here, then let’s do it – Go BIG or go home!

She suggested they simply ask: “Marvel or DC? If so, why.” …and then not hire anybody who says DC.

There were questions asking me how I encourage others to live their dreams, and well that was like asking me how I breathe in and out every day. Nobody should work like in an environment like Joe Versus The Volcano or live in the Zombie Apocalypse.

Here is the recap from last year. Enjoy.

I have to finish the mind-map and links for my technical work of art that combines hiking and adventure retreats with Hero’s Journeys and lots of feeling words.

========================================================

In true daring, confident cat form – and to launch my writing exposure
and prowess, I responded to an email, in which the sender said he
was hiring.

I love working for myself, but working online and writing every day on
subject matter that I’ve been studying my entire life for someone else
and having the chance to learn and hone my internet marketing skills –

Well, I just couldn’t sit around and think, “Gee, I might not get it.”

No, in my true daring confident cat form, I responded – I was going to
make sure that Mr. Publisher noticed me.

His initial call to action was this:
================================================

Subject: We are HIRING — have what it takes?

We are HIRING!

If you are interested in part-time or potentially full time employment in
my e-publishing company, working from the leisure of your own home,
working your own hours and being part of a GREAT team, we want to
hear from you!

Please take the time to read through the job description and be 100%
certain that this is something you would be interested in BEFORE
applying.

We are looking for PASSIONATE people!

=================================================

He went on to list the qualifications and tasks required, which I will
share with you in my response, so you don’t have to read everything
twice. 🙂 You’re welcome!

Here is my reply, which I sent from my Ipad (note the signature):

================================================

Subject: RE: Do I have what it takes?

Yes Mr. Publisher- I most certainly do have what it takes. You asked for
one paragraph; however, the eye flows with white space, so I’ve broken
that paragraph into smaller pieces.

Let’s take a little walk, shall we?

Please step into my “office.” As a female entrepreneur, massage therapist,
former personal trainer, and writing/marketing goddess, I am absolutely
qualified to assist your operations manager.

I have the talent, skill, and passionate enthusiasm to undertake your
requests and go the extra mile.

I am fully committed to the transition from one-on-one client inspirational
work to magnifying my online presence and income potential through writing,
affiliate programs, social media, and amplifying my overall presence through
speaking engagements.

With this exciting opportunity you are offering me, we can create a successful
relationship that will support each of us in aspiring to new heights in our
businesses.

Please have a seat.

I have attached my wonderful resume, which you can sit back and peruse
at your leisure. You can also read some of my blog posts.

I am going to fetch some coffee. Would you like some while you read? No?
OK, I know how busy you must be with this request you sent out.

Have a very lovely day, Mr. Publisher. I’m looking forward to chatting
with you more!

~Mindy Neal, aka The Goddess of Healing.

PS

I’ll go over each of the qualifications, just so you have that for your records.
My responses are in red.

– English as first language –  yes, baby talk actually being first.
– Involved in fitness –  yes, fitness nut, cross-fit competitor and former certified personal trainer.
– Able to write persuasive emails and has good copywriting skills. “Come with me if you want to not die.”  – borrowed that line from the Lego Movie 🙂
– Very attentive to details.  Nearly OCD, in a good way.
– Extremely organized. My folders are in folders.
– Responsible, reliable and trustworthy. I depend upon myself and I’m the mother of three (one autistic) teens.  I’ve also handled thousands of dollars in cash in former professions.
– A good team player. “Team” is my middle name. Not really, it’s Suebut don’t tell anyone.
– Eager to learn and improve your skills. Yes!!!
– Able to accept constructive comments and feedback while staying positive Yes, I can take a deep breath and look at situations from all angles.
– Fast learner and being able to adapt to different situations on a regular basis. Very adaptable.
– Able to follow instructions. Are they illustrated?
– Knowledge of WordPress, GetReponse and Aweber (or other mailing
provider), and standard programs like Word, Excel and Powerpoint.
I haven’t used GetResponse, but the others YES – I have also used Constant Contact and Mail Chimp.
– Graphic Design skills an asset. I make my own pins on Pinterest.

– Sent from my tablet of awesomeness –

==============================================

By the way, I got the job 🙂

The Double-Stuffed Cream Filling – Part 1

This is the first of two stories that actually took place in the delicious creamy center between the outer edges of my February Oreo cookie (Anti-VD and Week of Disease) –

Happiest Little Boy & Blue

On Monday, February 16th, I arrived at my lovely client’s beautiful home (castle), and she pointed to the corner of the room. She asked me if I would like it –

She knows my real boyfriend is a 2-year-old I run around with, and he’s the Happiest Little Boy (HLB).

Note: I call HLB my “boyfriend,” and we are truly, madly in love each other!! I have thing for younger guys 😉

A couple of weeks ago, his dad, his uncle, HLB and I met up to go hiking, and I hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks. When he saw me, he jumped from his dad’s arms and ran to me, and he hugged my legs so tight, like he would never let go, and I picked him up and smothered him with sweet kisses!

He’s the bestest boyfriend I have ever had!! (Same rules apply – Must be FUN, say anything, no drama, no judgment, etc.)

We even have a song! Whenever I hear “I Choose You” by Sara Bareilles, I think of him…more so for the beat than for the lyrics.

Anyway, when I saw what my client was pointing to in the corner of the room, I gasped. My hands flew to my mouth and I giggled with sheer delight – “OH MY GOSH!!!” I exclaimed. “Happiest Little Boy would love that so much!! THANK YOU!!!”

It stood about 3 feet tall, at least. I picked it up and squeezed it. It was so soft and squishy, and it made my heart so happy and filled my soul with such joy – I could not wait until HLB saw it.

I dreamed about what he would do first and all the great games he would play –

He has an active imagination that doesn’t stop or even slow down. When we are in the “upstairs” area of the fort, he makes me pizza and hamburgers, and every bolt becomes a knob to turn or a button to push.

I kept his gift in the back seat of my car for a couple of days until I had to go downtown (cream filling story #2!) – and then decided I’d better take it into my apartment –

I thought, “Someone might want to steal it because it’s so awesome!”

I just hugged it and squeezed it as I carried it upstairs. 

“This is the greatest thing, ever!”

When my daughters came home, I showed it to them. They each hugged it and squeezed and had the same feeling I had – “This is amazing! Maybe we should keep it.”

On Sunday, Youngest and I arrived at HLB’s house. Youngest was going to do some chores and entertain HLB while we so-called adults pretended to be adults (work-type stuff, not adult play-type stuff). 

We knocked on the door and heard the locks rattling. Clearly HLB was opening the door himself, doing his best to reach the deadbolt. 

He threw the door open and saw what was in my arms – He grabbed it and ran to the living room, where he proceeded to wrestle with the giant dog and smother it with kisses. 

“That is awesome!!” said his dad. “Where did you get that?”

I told him the story of how this biggest softest awesomest giant stuffed Saint Bernard joined our lives, which looked very similar to this picture below, only bigger and with a big red ribbon bow-tie collar.

stuffed_saint_bernard

As I finished the story, HLB came running up to me: “Mindy, Mindy, come see Blue.”

Awwwww….he named it already!!!!

He grabbed my hand and took me to where Blue was sitting. He said, “Sit on Blue’s lap.” 

As I went to sit down, he said, “Wait – Blue is pooping.” 

I laughed out loud!

Kids in potty training really think of nothing else.

Then he said, “Ok, he’s done….See?” He moved Blue toward the wall where the television cable was (the cable, no TV), so he could give Blue a pretend shower with the pretend hose.

And there I saw where Blue had been “pooping” – a quarter! 

I died of happiness! 

What a perfect pet – It is soft and squishy without shedding; it doesn’t bark or bite; and it poops money!!! 

oopooh

We played tackle with Blue and took Blue into the fort, and wrestled and snuggled until we were all worn out, and Blue needed a nap (um…and the rest of us!)

And that is the sweet, sweet cream filling story #1 that makes my life the tastiest – The story of Happiest Little Boy and His Dog Named Blue – 

The Speech

He Popped My Public-Speaking Cherry  🙂

I hope the college kids from the class are reading this!

I asked Mr. Julie McCoy if there were restrictions to what I can talk about.

I’m not sure if he actually reads my blog.

He said no cussing and no talking about sex.

Clearly, he reads my blog.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I thought, “OK, I can do this. I’ve been boring once. I can remember how that went.”

I saw this as a huge opportunity. I wasn’t getting paid, nor would I get new clients from the experience…YET…

But as I embark on all these career changes, “public speaking” is top of the list….

And like sex, the first time just isn’t going to be great.

I know “50 Shades of Grey” tells a different story, but I don’t think the author has actually had sex, or she would have gotten that detail correct…just saying…

So I was getting the first time out of the way with a friend (just like I did way back when with my real virginity) – or in my case today, friends – and also in my case, two man friends.

My life rocks!

I talked about the Vanilla Version of the content of this blog – My Passion and my mission to release everyone from the zombie apocalypse (status quo).

The improv Q&A at the end was more engaging and fun than the “speech” part, although I wrote a damn fine speech! I think I’ll start with that next time, add some dancing, and maybe have all of us sit on the floor.

I had started to put together a Power Point Presentation, but I’ve never actually done that – EEEK – confession of a tech nerd.

So I put the presentation down and I started my speech just like I write anything else, thinking I could add the presentation in later…I still can…

The speech was today, and I was still editing it today – so I decided to use good old fashioned white board with dry erase markers and hearts around my name.

speech1

I did put together a soundtrack too – which kicks ass – Here it is >> GCU Ignite Your Imagination Playlist.

I’m sure I would have made more of an impact had I been dressed up like Mystique…

speech2

But it was fun anyway. Like I said, the fact that I got the first one out of the way is HUGE.

I’m no longer a public speaking virgin. Now I can really cut loose and explore the risque side of that realm, jazz it up, be a little less “vanilla” — Maybe get the handcuffs out.

gcu1

I got this great purple T-shirt though! Woot!!

I’m now an honorary member of the Jerry Colangelo School of Business at Grand Canyon University.

Hey Students – If you’re visiting me here, be sure to reach out.

Like I said – I met Oprah:

oprah haleakala oprah haleakala4

 

Living Bigger

The original working title for this post was “Dreaming Bigger” –

But dreaming is not big enough anymore – The dreams are here right now, so LIVING BIGGER is where it’s at!

I have launched HUGE changes in my life –

These huge changes have meant tight schedules, deadlines, working more, socializing less (not at all), no vacations, and no breaks.

Where is the fun and the chill????

Fun and chill were locked away in the Holiday Gloom 😦

As a result, I put myself quite low I on my own priority list.

It’s time for a little chat with myself: “Self, please take your own advice and put yourself first.”

~~

During the weekend, Captain Amazing so BRAVELY provided me with as much support as I would allow him to provide after my son moved away from home – and various other things – a huge volume of minutia.

Captain Amazing said, “It sounds like things aren’t going so well.”

Actually, things are going very well…but with any EPIC adventure, there are rough patches. I just hit a rough patch.

I tried to logically explain these feelings to him…of feeling out of control, of wanting to run away…

I’ll talk about anything. Anyone who knows me knows this fact. However, I’m able to separate myself enough that I’m not really attached – I’m not intimate with the conversation, and my own personal feelings don’t really come up.

It’s so easy to say it to a crowd, but it’s so hard, my love, to say it to you out loud – Florence & The Machine from No Light, No Light

He bravely asked if I was comfortable with him –

Holy shit, what kind of question is THAT???

Of course, I have been thinking about such things, especially during the abysmal holidays, when my role in other people’s lives becomes quite obvious –

It’s a minor bit-part; I’m actually not in the scene during those times because I’m unattached.

Thankfully, I’m not as low as an understudy (so that’s good – I get to play myself in the show).

I’m unskilled at telling a man how important he is to me without the implication or pressure that I need or expect more than what we have, and at the same time, ensuring him that I’m not going anywhere –

…to provide the freedom AND stability with both need and want – We are inventing something new, and it’s scary sometimes.

I’m riding this adventure out, like I did on my great Hawaii adventure in 2013, without an agenda and without expectations.

As I’m doing that, however, I’m keenly aware of new feelings – Like I miss him sometimes (don’t tell him I said that).

I loathe that feeling so much. It makes me feel powerless and wreaks havoc with my confidence.

“Missing people” has not happened much in my life. I just don’t “miss.” I can count on 1 hand the number of people I have missed in my life (grouping my kids as a unit) –

When I miss my friend Tisha, it’s different – because she died. Neither of us can control that…I just become sad, without wondering about subtext or context.

And there is another feeling that comes up for me with CA – “nurturing” – Don’t know why…but there it is.

We have a great time together – I look forward to his company AND to our sexual adventures – and I’m still very happy and satisfied to take the whole friendship/datingship as it comes –

We have an affinity for each other that I don’t see going away in this lifetime, and I believe it has spanned many lifetimes before.

Nonetheless, some of the shit coming up for me right now is related to the timing of where I am currently with him and “feelings” – and the fact that it’s January, when 2 years ago I was entertaining another man – who is, incidentally, my business partner currently.

Oh, the tangled web I weave!

So these giant leaps of faith I’m taking (personally and professionally) require me to hold hands with my two favorite men – the two men who have been the greatest influences, the most amazing heroes of my life…

– and who have both left me at one point … by myself, unexpectedly abandoned.

While I’m not afraid of being alone or of mending a broken heart – I am terrified of the abrupt nature of how both those events went down – just like the end of my marriage – I didn’t see it coming.

That’s the part that scares me the most – feeling so stupidly unaware – and that I may not have been as connected as I thought I was.

That’s the feeling I have to meditate and breathe through…because I also don’t want to worry about such things. That is not living in the moment, nor is it LIVING BIGGER.

It’s too small for me – that’s putting myself in a cage –

So I have to believe in the intangible and stay the course – and take leaps of faith –

It’s like jumping with a parachute that has no strings – and then depending on these fine men to keep me attached to that parachute…

I can make that analogy and take that jump because they both came back…happily so…on their own terms…

…and they have made my life so much better.

I know that I’m very lucky indeed. I am very grateful – Namaste to my heroes.

~~

On Tuesday, the sun came out (YAY), and I had the opportunity to walk commute:
A 9-mile round trip – and it was delightful.

I walked in the sun, no sleeves, listening to some Disney princess songs, of course singing out loud because I can.

However, when I left the studio at 7:30pm, it was dark. The last time I can remember walking a significant mileage in the dark, other than my shorter walks to Starbucks at 5am, was Hawaii 2 years ago.

hawaii

As I began my journey home from work, I pulled up the music I listened to from that trip to Hawaii – A lot of Florence and the Machine – and I was whisked back to that great adventure!

The memories hit me like a tidal wave – Like my first steps in the ocean at 4:30am under a nearly full moon while listening to Cosmic Love  – It was amazing!

That whole solo adventure was freedom at its finest!

It was diving into the unknown, living unplanned, without a schedule, without an agenda (other than to have an EPIC adventure), without anybody expecting or demanding anything from me – except for ME.

…and my demands were simple – BE, BREATHE, EXPERIENCE.

It was truly the greatest adventure I’ve ever given myself.

The memories were so powerful and so ingrained in my soul, it felt like I was there again. I could actually smell Hawaii on Scottsdale Road.

During my walk home from work that night, listening to Florence and experiencing the feeling that I was back in Hawaii – I decided to spend the month of January 2015 pretending like I’m on a great adventure in a vast unknown land.

Wednesday: One of my beloved clients called in sick – so I had 2.5 hours unexpectedly available in the middle of my day…

…Hmmm…what should I do with that chunk of time??

As I pondered this great opportunity, I put my headphones on and fired up Spotify. They recommended a new playlist, and so I listened to that on my walk to Whole Foods to purchase my cleansing/detox food/juice for the day.

“Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey was on the list – Great song – (Youngest and I had just been talking about this song a few days ago) –

“Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.
She took the midnight train going anywhere..”

That’s how I feel when I get overwhelmed, so bogged down by the enormity of the volume of minutia that I just want to run away, go anywhere, to just feel free…so I can breathe…so the weight isn’t so heavy.

By letting go of control like that – feeling truly free – I actually feel more in control of my life and my decisions.

So I asked myself what I needed…sunshine??…outdoors??…

…and then I craved a mountain…

I packed my bags for the day and went to work – saw my first client, and then headed to the mountain.

gateway1

I think it hit 80 degrees – My favorite temperature – and I ran and walked, passing others on the hike.

…and I felt free…

gateway2

 

~

On January 13th, I am speaking at Grand Canyon University.

It is the students’ final class, and they are putting together a strategic plan, figuring out what they want to do, what their passion is – mission, vision and values.

The professor invited me to do this so I can spark their imagination.

My public speaking consists of teaching exercise and musical theater, so the students may end up doing push-ups and singing “Agony.”

The professor used my Lego Gandalf picture and my jackhammer picture, along with the biography on my blog to introduce me to his students.

This may seem like such a small step – but it’s a giant leap – To declare my CREATIVE SELF to the Universe – and inspire other people to do the same – YIKES!

I’m not nervous about the speaking engagement – It’s the leap itself.

It’s daunting and overwhelming. I’m diving into the unknown again, but not on a “vacation” – in REAL LIFE, both professionally and personally…

These leaps of faith are the biggest AND scariest I’ve ever taken…

…on the other hand –

Say Geronimo!

 

New Year 2015

Happy New Year!

At least, I’m imagining happiness – since 2014 ended the same way it began – without a party, a kiss, a celebration or sex – Pathetic.

However, all is not lost – and while I have no sex planned in the immediate future – until a week from Monday that I know of for sure (again pathetic) – I have lots of work planned.

Why does that make everything ok? 

It doesn’t, unless there is money attached to it…

…so I’m rechanneling my optimism.

be more awesome

 

I present the highlights of the very end of 2014 and the brighter-lights of what’s to come in 2015.

Here’s to being prepared for anything…or at least being prepared to be prepared for anything.

On the day before the last day of 2014, I had an unusual day that resulted in seeing 2 clients I hadn’t planned for and a KILLER leg workout designed and expertly coached by Ms. Sherrie after a 4.5-mile walk to work with 20 pounds on my back.

Tim Ferriss emailed me also – FINALLY – telling me that he’s hiring a managing editor and would I fit the qualifications – If so, please apply….so I did.

I did that for 3 reasons:

(1) Because I am qualified and I can.
(2) If I get it, great! What an awesome opportunity to dive into the deep end of a larger audience and fancy nerdy internet gadgets and to work with someone I admire.
(3) If I don’t get it, I still did something that most people won’t step outside of their comfort zone to even attempt – put myself out there.

He asked me if I could handle tight deadlines and sticky situations – and if so, how?…

That’s like asking me if I breathe and if so, how.

My life is a multitude of tight deadlines, managing hundreds of clients, my kids’ schedule, writing deadlines, technical glitches, etc.

How do I do it?

I breathe and I get shit done…There is no other option.

It’s difficult to create a hypothetical situation from nothing…although I have just completed that task – Over 7 pages of a “new member” discovering the business that Mr. KC and I are creating.

However, Tim requested that it be under 300 words.

I remember once, a long time ago, Captain Amazing asked how I would react if I walked in and saw another woman there.

There are too many details and variables omitted from that scene to even speculate: Who is the woman? What is she doing? And what are you doing? etc., etc.

I responded with a pause and then said, “That really depends. First, I would never come over without being invited, nor would I enter your house without your knowledge, so the fact that you would be expecting me – and it sounds like that situation would be a surprise to me – I would probably feel disrespected – or I might want to join…I just don’t know…again it would depend on my mood and what I saw …and why I was coming over in the first place…”

He listened…

I added…“But I don’t contemplate such things because that’s not living in the present moment – And it causes me to live in fear and anxiety about something that may or may not ever happen, and I won’t do that to myself…”

“so I’m not going to worry about that happening unless or until that happens.”

He said, “Fair enough.”

So for Tim, I kept my answer about the same – I’ll handle it – with grace and charm – without panic or stress but with enough priority placed on the task at hand, that whatever is happening will be resolved – PERIOD.

Again, how do I breathe? I just do.

There is always a Plan A and a Plan B – I do think about things without judging the situation, but really I take care of the problem, learn from it, and move on.

~

When I arrived home from work, I put my pajamas on, ate a bowl of oatmeal, and fell asleep on the floor with my kids…I think it was 8pm…and my legs were already sore.

~~

On the last day of 2014, I had the great pleasure of walking 9 miles with very sore quads, in 40-degree rainy weather. My hands froze because I was holding the umbrella…

It was my commute to work and back – to see 3 of my favorite clients – I have a lot of favorite clients, with even more to come…

I wore my knit beanie cap all day because it was just THAT cold.

After I walked home, I drove Middlest to her New Year’s Eve party, returned home again, put my pajamas on, and cranked the heat.

I prepared a hot apple cider spiked with Fireball – delicious – and …ZZZZZ… again, right around 8pm.

I set my alarm for 9, thinking that I just needed a nap.

Youngest came in at 8:45 and said I received a text from Captain Amazing. He was wishing me a Happy New Year – and was doing it early because he was going out and turning his phone off so he didn’t get a bunch of drunk texts…

…I texted him him back and went back to sleep. The alarm went off at 9. I turned it off and told Youngest to wake me up before midnight …

…she was knitting me a new beanie cap…

(Here are her efforts – Outstanding – She knitted the scarf too)

beanie hat

At 11:55, she woke me up, and we counted down the New Year … and back to bed I went…

Earlier that day on Twitter, I created an ideal New Year’s Eve agenda that involved many drinks and lots of sex …

Sadly, that didn’t happen…

Maybe next year …

By the way, in my lifetime, I have NEVER celebrated the New Year with a man I am involved with (except during marriage a small handful of times, but by midnight, we weren’t speaking to each other, so it really doesn’t count)

..and NEVER EVER with a kiss at midnight.

– I’m going to have to stop hoping for that to happen. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.

New-year-eve-kiss-e-card

~~

THE NEW YEAR CHANGES

I spent much of the Christmas holiday working – yes on deadlines and tedious schedules – …I created plot lines and developed characters…

…because I have an exit strategy launched…

I’m boldly going where I’ve only dreamed about going. And I’m not sure what it looks like exactly…but I know that it’s going to be great.

Resolutions? I don’t believe in those because I solve problems as they arise – and I strategically plan.

Hopes and dreams? Yep – lots – And their fruition has been strategically planned – with enough wiggle room and flexibility to go with the flow…be prepared for anything…or at least be prepared to be prepared for anything.

What are they?

1. Books published – along with the creation of the persona that defines the main character and the word she lives in. I don’t half ass things, and when I pull off the plan that is inside my head and written in my notebook, it will be unlike anything that I’ve ever known to have been done before – EPIC!

I don’t know how other authors feel about their books as they are writing them – but this is how good I believe my stories to be –

I’m so excited to finish writing my books …
so I can read them. 

I think that really says something about what I’m creating.

2. Launch my EPIC business with Mr. KC – It’s really launched already. We’ve been working very hard on it, and today we are working on design elements, budgets, presentations.

3. Schedule more speaking engagements. I have one scheduled, January 13th at Grand Canyon University.

4. …cliffhanger… 🙂 

Happy New Year!

hny

 

 

The Tweener

George Takei posted this picture on his Facebook page:
adulting

It says: I keep thinking, “Oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult? … Then I spend time with teenagers. … And it’s like, ‘wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.” 

I wish I could say that I’m adulting all over the place…Hmmm…that’s not true. I’m glad I can’t.

In the spirit of my life, I’m quite content to BE just me, and that looks nothing like an adult.

In the words of Joss Whedon:

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.

But even better – because I can speak the lingo of the tweens, I have awesome communication with my kids, who are also tweens.

Seeing that picture allowed me to segue into the frenzy of texts between my own 17-year-old and me yesterday.

5:09 am

From me: OMG – I just pulled a “push” door at Starbucks. I said to the counter lady, “Oh, your door is locked.” She said, “Just push.” I AM NICK MILLER!!!! I hate doors!

My daughter’s reply: OMG mom.

From me: I know! I would have been more embarrassed but I wasn’t quite awake.

She said: I’m so proud of you mom.

I said: Awww thanks! I try to set a good example!

She said: I can tell.

Then – she sent – in all caps.

AVENGERS 2 PREVIEW CAME OUT YESTERDAY. OMG I’M GONNA DIE.

My reply: NO WAY!!!! Where did you see that???

She said: YouTube. Tyler told me and I just watched it. Seriously, I’m really excited.

I was giddy, watching the trailer.

I said: F-YEAH!!!! OMG!!!! Nerdgasm!!

Her reply: They finally have Thor shirtless! They did something right!!

My reply (which I was sending at the same time as her reply): Thor popped out of the water shirtless!!!! Like a daisy!!!

Her reply: hahahaha!!!!!

She added: Why does Ultron keep quoting Pinocchio? I’ve got no srings was the song in the background! Goddammit Disney!

My reply: He was referring to puppets – perhaps he takes over Iron-Man’s controls??? I only watched it once.  … We do need to get the exact release date because DOUBLE FEATURE!

Please note the language above – How fascinating it is that I said “F-YEAH” and she said, “They finally have Thor shirtless.” …for whatever that’s worth.

So being the stalking researching tween mom I am, I did a quick Google search and discovered:

avengers2

That is her birthday!! – Which I sent to her.

Her reply: I CAN FEEL THE WIN!!!!!!

~~

I know I was totally fangirling the other day with Ira Glass and Dubbells And Dragons, but right now, I have to admit that I’m at a sick and twisted level of fangirl.

We love Joss Whedon, just saying.  He upholds our family philosophical ideal. We would adopt him into our tribe.

I do think it’s possible to have tribal members who are cybergenitcally related.

(It’s my blog, I can make up words like cybergenitcally and pimpitude).

I’ll take crazy over stupid any day.”
― Joss Whedon

 

Yesterday, I met a friend, Mr. KC, for a business brainstorm at Paradise Bakery – I wore my pink Personal Power Training tank top and my camo leggings – I came straight from work, and that’s what I wore to work.

He is insisting that I start making video.

UGH – On a scale of one to even – I just can’t!! #canteven

Tenness Williams said:

There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.

That’s about where I am.

That said, it’s time for my run.

The Fangirl

This last week week – From Saturday to Saturday – was highlighted by Celebrities, Events, Conspiracies, Alliances, And of course Sex (not in the traditional sense – although is there anything traditional about my sex???)…

Part 1: My Evening With Ira Glass

Saturday, October 11

I’m not sure how Ira will respond to being a featured guest on my blog – but he inspired me so much when I met him. #npr #serial #thisamericanlife #nerdalert

TRUTH: Before I met him, I didn’t know who he was – had never heard of him.

My friend texted me and said she wanted to ask me on a date. WOO HOO! I love dates! And she is a connoisseur of theater, and I welcome invitations to culture because I love culture. #truestory

So I said “yes” before I knew what it was that we were doing.

I was also invited to Brown Sugar’s “Fusion Supper Club” party that night. I texted him to ask how long the party was going to last.

He said, “As late as you want 🙂 “

Mmmm…ding dong…. I like that answer.  – I’ll do both events!

My date picked me up and off we went to spend an evening with a radio show celebrity.

The first man we met was the marketing guru for KJZZ, the local affiliate for NPR. Wow, talk about brown sugar! That man was gorgeous.

I wasn’t sure if that was who we were supposed to meet, but I enjoyed meeting him! And OH what a voice!!!! No wonder he is on radio.

KJZZ had a divine spread of gourmet appetizers out, so I selected a few vegetables (roasted red pepper from heaven) – and we found a vantage point on this private balcony overlooking the beautiful lights of the Mesa Center For Performing Arts.

mesa arts

A lady walked over to us and asked if we had met Ira yet. Nope –

She walked us over and there he was. I asked my friend if we were supposed to be fangirling. She wasn’t sure.

But the gal in front of us was – I thought she was going to swoon!

We approached Ira and stood next to him – He had a fine lady on both sides – An Ira sandwich!

He introduced himself to me, and we shook hands. I then introduced him to my friend – She was, after all, my date and the one who knew who he was!

We chatted for a while and had many photos taken, which I have been unable to hunt down.

TRUTH: He has the softest hands.

We were escorted to our choice seats near the front row of the stage.

The show was great! Now I know why he has been on the air for 17 years.

The stories hit me in such a way that I felt like my life would never be the same -The whole evening clicked and I had a glimpse of the awesomeness that lay ahead of me.

What was it about this man – One radio host and two dancers that spoke to me?

I think it was the construction of the show and the stories.

And in my post meet-and-greet stalking researching, I found the extremely recent clip from when he was on Jimmy Fallon #jimmyfallonfangirl  #ilovejimmyfallon

And they talked about his tweet that Shakespeare sucks…I had actually seen that tweet during my stalking researching.

I became a fan. #nerdfangirl

I won’t listen on regular radio, like in the car, because that’s not my thing – but a podcast is.

That led to the discovery of The Moth. My friend said that if I ever get on The Moth, she will travel to wherever I am telling my story and listen, even though she reads my blog and talks to me every week.

The butterfly is my spirit animal – Just saying –

Hmmmm….LIGHT BULB…maybe I’ll speak my stories, not just write them down….

Alas, I was fangirling so hard that I didn’t make it to Brown Sugar’s Fusion Supper Club – I asked him how I could make it up to him.

He said, “You’re creative. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Part 2: Conspiracies And Collaborations

Subsection A: Conspiracy Theory

So Mr. Julie McCoy is running in the NY Marathon November 2nd. I love to see my friends strive for achievements, especially when they are big bucket list deals. #goforit

Do or do not. There is no try.

He then sent me a “coupon” to register for the Phoenix Marathon on February 28, 2015, and volunteered himself to be my running coach. #shit

I’ve been on the fence about running a full. I’ve done 2 halves (that makes a full, right??) #math

Plus I’ve walked 60 miles 3 times…

I’m not gonna lie – I have been searching for a bit of spark to light my workout fire.

I do have vanity goals right now. However, vanity is not an event.

It’s not something I can high-five myself when I cross the finish line of “DAMN I LOOK HOT!”

The popular fitness culture has conspired against that opinion – with lots of “challenges” and “contests” and before-and-after pictures.

Let me just make this emphatic observation: Dieting is NOT a sport – It is not a test of wills – It is not something that you should win a prize for. It’s also not fun.

Sex IS a sport (read on). And I believe Captain Amazing has ordered my trophy for First-Place in my division – The Unicorn Division.

Sure, hitting that vanity goal CAN lead to sex – but it doesn’t sustain it.

Don’t get me wrong – the ultimate vanity carrot being dangled in front of me is the fact that I committed to dressing undressing as Mystique for Marvel Universe on March 7, 2015.

I envisioned my two choices at being Mystique: Average or Champion.

I choose Champion.

“Maybe I just need a running coach,” I thought. “…and I can just train myself.”

I’ve been wanting to hire a personal trainer (read on). But it’s hard to find someone who treats working out as fun – but who also doesn’t stand around and talk.

I don’t want to talk. I want to sweat and get my ass kicked.

I read the promo again for the marathon – looked at the calendar – remembered what I did to take my body-fat down to 16%.

I entered my information and clicked SUBMIT.

FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!! #wtf

What have I gotten myself into???

So THAT happened!

Subsection B: Retraction and Collaboration

Friday October 10

I had a conversation with Captain Amazing while I was driving him to the airport  – (holy shit – THAT happened) –

He is surrounded by some co-dependency that is none of my business but I did feel compelled to explain how I would NOT ask an ex for help.

He said, “So let’s say you get bored with me and we are not together anymore…You wouldn’t ask me for help?”

I said, “First, I can’t imagine being bored with you. Second, you and I are friends for life, so it’s kind of different. And third – No, I wouldn’t.”

It’s a condition I have – Extreme pride and independence –

Monday October 13

For the third October in a row, Mr. KC, a man whom I met and dated 2 years ago, returned to my life. He actually stayed in touch a lot more this year – Yay –

This time, however, he asked me for “help.”

Not for money or to borrow a car or for a place to live –

(if anyone were to ask me for those things, I’d help make a kick-ass sign and find the most marketable street corner for them to work -)

Rather – He asked for my creative expertise and in return, I would receive compensation. Fair enough.

Also he put an idea on the table about a collaboration, which would be inspirational to the world and extremely profitable for us, the way both of us envision it.

He asked me then what I would need – and I outlined the work I have done in building my empire –  in great detail – and highlighted a few of the missing pieces.

I then asked for his help –

Irony: A situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected.

Let me just point out, he’s not technically an ex. We only dated for 4 months, so it doesn’t really count. And we have remained friends long after the sex ended.

I’m not even sure that we technically dated, but I don’t know what else to call it. I have trouble with labels.

I’ve written our story down – it’s good enough to be a movie –

I have to say that whatever it was, let’s call it “dating” – Dating him was like dating Brad Pitt – He’s somewhat of a celebrity and I was a total fangirl when I was with him. #fangirling #itsathing

At any rate, I must retract my earlier generalization about help from an ex – and further define that I will not ask for codependent help, like money or a car or a place to live.

I will not have codependency within a relationship and I certainly will not have it after.

 

Subsection C: Forging An Alliance

Thursday October 16

Somewhat in passing, Mr. Julie McCoy passed a website to me. He said, “You might like these guys.”

He then added that he needed my creativity with some of the nerd questions in the interview.

TRUTH: Second man this week who requested my creativity. BAM! That’s success RIGHT THERE!!!

I read the questions first – because doing things backwards is one of my special talents – and then clicked on the website link.

The choir of angels sang when I saw Dumbbells And DragonsMy people – More members to add to my tribe.

My fangirl state escalated quickly, from just checking you out, to full “I need you now!” 

I don’t want to date these guys, so I can be as crazy as all anything. – Hot Crazy Matrix be damned – #girlsarecrazy #fangirlalert

fangirl

I followed them on Twitter and then sent them a note on their page. Ken tweeted me back and then requested I send him an email so we could chat in more than 140 characters.

…and it all went downhill soaring from there…

The fangirl inside me told story after story, puns, nerd tales, and how much I needed to be part of their empire…and asked them what they needed to become HUGE, in a non-Viagra way.

..and I sent them here – To read about our Grand Canyon adventure – To read about sex and the zombie apocalypse #itsathing –

I told them I would love to be a regular recurring guest on their show – and they concur! Ken said he would have me on a bunch!

YESSSSSSSSS!!!

My answers to the interview questions are LEGEN – wait for it – DARY!

I have scripted a recurring performance. I’m so excited ❤

I think the ULTIMATE FANGIRL STATE is to be a fangirl of yourself.

 

Part 3: My Fangirls, Sex & My Personal Trainer

One of my female clients returned from her summer someplace cooler than hell, and she looked at me and said, “My God, you look amazing. How do you do it? Seriously, what are you doing?”

To which I replied, “Lots of really amazing sex!!”

She said, “Oh, that’s what I’m doing wrong.”

We both laughed, and I said, “I’m so sorry. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry.”

She said, “Me too.” And we laughed again!!

That conversation has been retold at parties – because one of her male friends, another client of mine – said I have become a legend and the envy of all the women in their community.

YOWZA – I have my own fangirls!!!

Another client returned for her appointment with me – She and her friends started a “blog club” – Like a book club, except they are reading my blog – Out loud – to each other.

#fangirls

I love it – These women in their 60s – saying “cock” out loud. It warms my heart!

…and now the pressure is really on – Committed to dressing undressing as Mystique, running a marathon, AND competing in my favorite sport to earn that trophy Captain Amazing is designing for me…

As I stated above, I have been wanting to hire a personal trainer.

…and then  my friend, Ms. Spa, sent me an intriguing email.

…about a pleasure personal trainer

#fangirl

Since I waste no time stalking researching people and things that I am passionate about – I checked it out and was in fangirl sex heaven – The choir of angels sang to me AGAIN!

I immediately contacted LELO and showed them my blog –

I have been ACCEPTED to represent and inspire women (couples) to take their sex to the next level!! Another collaboration this week –

I also “hired” my pleasure personal trainer – to make sure that I am at the top of my sport – the sport of champions –

I’ve named her Lola (she was a show girl) – and she treats working out as fun but also doesn’t stand around and talk. I sweat and get my ass kicked!

That trophy will be mine!!!

I’m also fangirling this toy >> LELO IDA << The diagrams – Oh Captain Amazing – my birthday is coming up!! ❤

Sunday October 19

A new week begins…Captain Amazing has returned from his vacation – Watch for the next epic story…I know, you’re on the edge of your seat…and probably a little nervous.

I have to go run 8 miles…